


A Web of Lies

by orphan_account



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Cheating, Light Swearing, M/M, Minor Original Character(s), OOC characters, Recreational Drug Use, Weekly Updates, conflicted evan, evan screws himself over so badly., for now, relationships, reupload
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-18
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-07-13 20:46:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16025672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Evan Hansen manages to get into the university of his dreams. The one flaw? It's across the country from his long term boyfriend. Surely though, Evan can survive a long distant relationship, right?Well, if his attractive and very blunt roommate had anything to do with it- probably not.____Reuploaded by me after reworking the plot





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay. Hi friends! So this is a reupload of a story I wrote and took down three months ago? Yeah, anyways I've reworked the plot and it's back. Just a fair warning though, this story is going to be written along side two other stories of mine, so updates are probably going to be a bit slow until I finish the short of the two. So, please be patient with me if you're someone who was reading the story previously! It'll pick right back up again soon, I promise.

Evan Hansen never thought in a million years that he'd get to move halfway across the country for University. It just- wasn't in his family's budget. He also never thought that he’d be accepted into the university of his dreams. Yet somehow, here he was, standing outside of the northwest dormitory at the University of Gorden with his mother at his side. She probably looked more giddy than Evan did, smiling widely and rubbing her hands together in the way she does when she’s nervous. 

“What's your room again Evan?” she asked as she unloaded boxes from his car. Evan knew it was room 9103. Which was the second column of rooms on the outside of the building, on the second floor to the left. Still though, he took his welcome paper out of pocket and double checked. 

“Yeah it's uh, 9103… B. But the B is just my room within the dorm so it's irrelevant until we get up there,” Evan said as he folded the paper up neatly and stuck it back into his pocket. 

It was the first day that students could move into dorms, but classes didn't start for another two weeks and the orientation stuff wouldn’t start until next monday. Apparently most people wouldn’t be moving in until then. When he signed in, the lady at the desk told him that his roommate had not checked in yet. 

Evan was fine with that. He wanted to get settled in nicely before his roommate came. He didn’t know anybody, so he opted for the random roommate, as risky as it was. However, he only needs to deal with having a roommate for one year before he can apply for a single dorm. That brought a bit of comfort. 

Evan sighed as he picked up two of the boxes from the trunk of his car, before leading the way toward his dorm room. He didn’t know where he was going, but once he found the right column which wasn’t clearly marked, he knew it was smooth sailing from here. 

He huffed as he hiked up the flight of cement stairs, passing the two ground floor dorms in the process. Man he wished he had one of those dorms. They were studio dorm rooms, he was pretty sure. 

He rested the two boxes on the floor before he took out his key and unlocked his door, leaving it propt open for his mom who was trailing behind him. 

“Where do you want all your things?” she asked as Evan walked to the back of the dorm where his room was. 

Evan rested his things on the floor again before unlocking the door to his personal room. At least he had a personal room and only a shared living room, kitchen and bathroom. He fiddled with key a bit before managing to get it open. 

“Uh, just in my room for now? Regardless of uh, where it needs to be… I’ll figure it out,” Evan said with a small shrug. 

“Evan… I know that trick. You’re going to keep everything in here all cluttered up and you won’t have enough room for anything else. This box is filled with bathroom stuff, and it is not being left in your bedroom. So. I will put these in the bathroom.” she said. 

Evan sighed. She knew him too well. It shouldn’t have surprised him really that she would have caught onto what he planned on doing, but that was okay. She was right anyways. He had brought more things than he needed to and had no clue how much space would have in his room. If she was just going to put it in the bathroom anyways though, why would she even bother asking..

“Alright… I uh, don’t know which door leads to the bathroom,” Evan said as he gazed around the room. The small, hot, cramped and soon to be cluttered room. 

“I’ll go down and get the rest of your stuff, why don’t you start unpacking?” she said. Evan hesitated for a second, before nodding. He could do that. 

She smiled softly and went down the hallway before opening the bathroom door and dropping a box off in there, before heading back downstairs to get more boxes. Evan sighed and decided to start on the box of bathroom stuff. There was one box so it would be quick. 

Evan hummed softly as he went down the hallway to the bathroom. Above the sink, to either side of the mirror were two cupboards. One with an A and the other a B, and both had a lock. Evan breathed a sigh of relief. That must’ve been what the fourth key on his chain was for. 

The big package he got when he signed in probably had a paper giving information about each key but he didn’t want to read through that right at this moment. The lady didn’t say much about them either, just to not lose them or there would be a fine of twenty dollars for each key.  

Evan tried the keys until he found the right one, making a note to colour code all of his keys later tonight with some electrical tape. He probably thought to pack some. If not, there were a few stores around.

His mom passed a couple times as he organized his things- towels and washcloths up top, shampoo and shower stuff in the middle, then his medication and all his sink stuff on the bottom. He spent way too long trying to organize his little cupboard. His mom had everything brought in from his car before he finished organizing his medications and the five different kinds of scented bar soap. 

He sighed as Heidi, his mom, shut the door behind herself after bringing the last box in. She dropped it off in his room before coming back out and sitting down on the somewhat looking worn out leather couch with a small  _ puff.  _ Evan chuckled and sat beside her. 

“I say we go order a pizza and then keep unpacking after,” she suggested. Evan nodded, kicking his feet up on the coffee table. He was actually really exhausted, having done the last twelve hours of driving while his mother slept beside him. 

They had been driving constantly for a solid three days so Evan could have his car at  university. Heidi had a plane ticket to get back home, but it didn’t leave until tomorrow morning at eight am. Neither of them had showered or changed their clothing since they left and Evan felt quite disgusting. 

“Yeah uh, we could do that… I’m just going to shower and get changed. Uh, just vegetarian pizza,” he said as he stood up again. Heidi smiled and nodded as she typed something into her phone, probably looking for somewhere cheap to get food.

 

Evan got out of the bathroom half an hour later feeling much better, and there was pizza sitting on the kitchen counter with Heidi already haven eaten two slices and almost done her third. 

He picked up a slice and leant against the wall that was connected to the counter and smiled at his mother. She wiped her mouth on the back of her hand- they didn’t have any napkins- and threw the leftover crust into the pizza box. She finished chewing before clearing her throat. 

“Mind if while you eat I shower too? I won’t use anything but your soap of course but I just don’t want to stink up the plane,” Heidi said, a breath of humor coming from her voice. 

“Of course,” Evan said with a small nod, tossing his crust back into the box too. Like mother like son- neither of them ate their pizza crusts. “I’m just going to start unpacking the stuff in my room. I uh, left the cabinet unlocked and the soap and stuff is on the middle drawer. There’s a bunch of hotel shampoos and conditioners that I grabbed from the bathroom back home though? You can take two of those,” he said with a small nod. 

“Eat another slice of pizza first, I don’t want any leftovers,” she said playfully before walking into the bathroom. Evan looked at the pizza box and bit his lip. No. One slice of pizza was enough for Evan. 

He closed the box and put it in the oven, a force of habit from having a large Collie that loved to counter surf, before making his way back into his room. Boxes were literally  _ everywhere  _ and he had no clue where to start. 

Well, clothing was a place to start. 

The bedroom was very interestingly laid out. The bed was to the left corner of the room, the foot of the bed stopping just before the door started, and came up to his hip, which was unusually tall for Evan. Above it was a cabinet, with a lamp built into the bottom of it. Next to the bed was a small bedside table and connected to that was a decent sized dresser, with a bit of storage. All of it was connected in one big, beige unit. In the corner opposite of the bed, which was only a stride away from the bed was his desk- the same not quite beige colour, with several shelves above it and a very nice window, with a great view of inside the building, which was a long strip of little shops and fast food places, known formally as  _ the hub _ but apparently everyone at the University referred to it as  _ Hell’s Kitchen _ . 

Evan grabbed the box with CLOTING written on top with messy letters. Jared misspelled clothing while he was helping Evan pack. Well, helping was a vague statement. More like he was labeling the boxes and misspelling every word. Evan made no effort to correct any of them. They were all being recycled pretty soon anyways. 

He only got through half of the box, which was the one with all his shirts and sweaters in it, by time Heidi had joined him in his room. There wasn’t much space for both of them in the tiny room, so she sat on his bed and put the shirts on hangers for him to hang up. It was a nice system that also worked with his pants, though she had just folded them so he could put them on a neat, organized shelf. 

They started going through his other boxes when Heidi finally started a regular conversation not about the books they were unpacking and putting above his computer desk. 

“So, any idea who your roommate is?” she asked as she put the last few books, all of which being collections of short stories and poetry, onto the shelf, just barely squeezing the last one in. 

“Uh, no? I hope he’s nice though and uh, not too talkative… We just need to uh, live with each other? Not be best friends, right?” Evan said nervously as he plugged in his laptop, and then his fan because  _ god  _ this room was stuffy. 

“Evan, you can not stay in your room avoiding your roommate. In college, my roommates turned out to be some of my best friends. That’s how I met Jared’s mother, you know,” she said. 

“Yes yes I know.”

“And if I hadn’t met her, you would have never met your boyfriend, would you?” she said playfully. 

Evan blushed as he looked down, digging through another one of his boxes. He couldn’t hide the stupid grin forming on his face either. He heard Heidi chuckle and Evan smiled even more, shaking his head softly. 

“Are you implying I’m about to meet the father of my theoretical childs theoretical significant other?” Evan joked. She smiled and shrugged. 

“Who knows,” she said with a small laugh. “You and Jared would make great parents together.” 

“We’re also only  _ eighteen _ ? Jared actually isn’t even eighteen- his birthday is next week! We’re nowhere close to being eligible parents,” Evan pointed out, finally making enough room so he could put his sheets on his bed. 

“At least I know neither of you can get pregnant,” she laughed, and Evan joined in too. 

 

Once everything was unpacked, Heidi went out to go get Evan groceries. Evan didn’t want to go. He was pretty exhausted. So, he gave her a list of things he wanted her to get and then told her to get him anything else she thought he needed. 

Whether or not that was a good instruction, Evan didn’t know. 

He opened up skype and waited for Jared to call him. They had just been texting, and Jared had suggested it. Evan hated talking over Skype or calls but he needed to get used to it. Jared was a four day drive away now. 

Evan didn’t like that he was so far away- he thought maybe Jared would get bored of not having any affection in their relationship and end it with Evan over skype a couple months down the road. Jared objected to it, saying, “ _ as long as I can watch porn every couple days I’ll be fine with just talking to you.” _

Evan didn’t need that comment, but whatever kind of reassurance Jared gave him was reassurance he was willing to take. 

“Hey you,” Jared said, freezing for a split second as the wifi struggled to load Jared’s face. It was two hours earlier there right now, and so while the sun was setting for Evan around eight, Jared looked like the sun was still hung high in the sky. Or maybe that was just the weird lighting in his house. 

Evan smiled at the sound of his voice. This was the first time he had heard it, besides a couple of snapchats, since he left thursday morning. It wasn’t the same in person- his laptop speakers did  _ not  _ give him justice.

“Hey Jare-Bear,” Evan said, earning a small roll of the eyes from Jared. 

“You know I hate that name,” Jared said playfully. Evan just shrugged, pushing his back up against the wall. He was sitting on his bed with the light on over top of him. The exposer on the camera was a bit weird, but Evan wasn’t going to fix it. 

“I don’t really uh, care though,” Evan said with a small chuckle. “How’ve you been?” he asked. 

Jared shrugged. 

“Same old same old. Rob came by today and gave me my mathletes hoodie back. Thought you would have taken it with you. I’m honestly offended.”

Rob was Heidi’s boyfriend of three years now and lived with her and Evan in their house. He was a nice enough man, and was  _ loaded _ , owning his own business that was pretty small, but slowly starting to grow across the country. He didn’t know anything about it. He was pretty sure it was some sort of clothing store. 

“I thought I did take it!” Evan argued. “I have your grad one still, it’s hanging up in my closet, but I thought I grabbed the mathletes one instead. That one is nicer… Smells more like you too,” Evan said with a small pout. Jared laughed. 

“God Evan you are such a dork,” he said, smiling gleefully. Evan returned it. He missed him already. “How are you? Settling in alright?” 

“Yeah actually. The bathroom has cabinets on it that can lock? Which uh, is really wild… I didn’t know that was a thing… but now I don’t need to think about where to leave all my stuff so it’s all good,” Evan said with a small shrug. 

“What? Scared your roommate will take your lush soap and medication?” Jared teased. 

“You never know. Plus I mean, that soap is expensive. I don’t want- don’t want some random guy using it to wash his hands! That’s uh, my soap,” Evan said. “I uh… don’t really want whoever it is to know about all my medication though, so it’s better locked up.” 

Jared frowned. 

“You shouldn’t let you bother you Acorn, your medication doesn’t make up you. It just… keeps your anxiety at bay,” Jared said. Evan smiled at the stupid nickname.  On their third date, they went to a park. Evan had climbed a tree and fell, landing on Jared. They both were in pain, but they laughed it off. Jared called him an Acorn and the name just… kind of stuck.

“It’s a chance for me to… start fresh, I guess? I just… don’t want uh, my roommate to be weirded out by the fact that I have three- four now, different kinds of medication,” Evan said. Jared huffed and ran a hand through his hair as he leant back in what looked like his grandmothers massage chair. 

“I guess Ev, but just… don’t let it hold you back okay? I want you to have a good time at Gordon,” Jared said with a small smile. Evan smiled and nodded. 

“And I will! I know I will I just uh, who knows what my roommate is like…” Evan muttered. 

“Well… you’re both in some sort of classes at Gordon,” Jared said with a small shrug. Evan rolled his eyes. 

“Thanks babe,” Evan said sarcastically. He frowned having gotten a text from his mother, and looked back at Jared. 

“I’ll call you back later tonight. Mom needs me to bring in the groceries,” Evan said with a small huff. 

“Alright, see you later Acorn,” Jared said with a small smile before ending the call. Evan huffed and got off his bed. 

 

The two sat down on the couch with a bag of pop corn and turned on the foods network, investing themselves in the show. Heidi decided she wanted to get to the airport around three am, so the two decided just to stupidly stay up until then. 

“You know, your father really came through for you,” she said as she gazed around the dorm room. Evan huffed and smiled, nodding subtly. 

“Yeah he uh, really did, didn’t he?” Evan said with a soft smile. 

“I always joked about him and his cocktail waitress making you a college fund but I never thought it would happen… especially with their three bratty children,” Heidi laughed. 

“And the fact that he uh… only really talked to me on my birthday,” Evan laughed. “Even then it uh, wasn’t very much of a conversation…” 

“Yeah but… Enough to cover your first years dorm? That’s just... “ Heidi said with a small shake of the head. Evan thought maybe she was still processing all of this stuff. 

“Yeah… But, Rob is the reason I’m here too. He’s paying for the admission and classes and er- well, everything,” Evan pointed out. She smiled softly and nodded. 

“He’s a very good man,” she said. “I’m glad you’ve grown to like him.”

Evan didn’t always like Rob. He was an unfamiliar face in a familiar home. That and Rob was very standoffish at first. He didn’t even let his mother tell him about Jared until Rob found out on his own. He walked in on the two in the  _ middle  _ of roughly making out on Evan’s bed, both down to their underwear- Jared’s hand down Evans. 

Rob was okay with it… the relationship, of course! He was just shocked that Evan was doing something like that. Apparently the reserved anxious kid can’t have sex. Evan still hadn't managed to live that down. 

“He’s pretty cool yeah. I don’t know about his kids though,” Evan said. 

Rob had three little girls aged ten, nine and six. They all lived with their mother in another state, but stayed with them every summer and spring break. Maybe it was because they were girls, or because they were so young, or because Evan had to babysit them several times, but Evan did not really miss them. They were nice enough girls but, very clueless about how the world works. 

Evan was the same- there was no way he was allowed to judge them but… he can only take so many questions about the boy that the girls always see Evan kissing… and why he’s not kissing a girl. 

And  _ then  _ the six year old, Katelynn, mentioned how Evan could date her if he needed to date a girl, which made Evan very uncomfortable. Especially because Jared was sitting at the dining table with them for dinner while babysitting. Jared of course just laughed it off because she was six and didn’t know better, but Evan couldn’t shake it off. 

“They are lovely girls,” Heidi pointed out. “They might end up moving in with us you know.” 

“What? The mother back on crack again?” Evan asked. It was supposed to be a joke, but judging by her solum face, it probably should not have been a joke. 

“Sorry Mom I uh, I just.... I didn’t realize…” 

“It’s okay Evan… it’s been getting worse. Rob is looking into getting custody,” Heidi said with a small shrug. 

“Would you guys sell the house then? If you suddenly had three kids and uh, I hope I still have my room for holidays and summer…” Evan said. 

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it… But Rob and I were thinking maybe we could turn your room into a room for Emily and then move your room into the basement den?” Heidi said and Evan frowned. 

“But listen… we’re not at that stage yet so we don’t need to discuss it. Instead let’s just take it day by day,” she said. Evan smiled and nodded. 

“Sounds good to me.” 

 

Five food related shows later, both of them were yawning and half asleep, but they needed to go for Heidi’s plane. They decided to stop at a McDonalds to get some coffee before they were off. 

Evan yawned as he sipped the coffee. It was bitter and gross but he needed to stay awake and drive his mother and  _ god  _ he should have had a nap while the two were watching Gordon Ramsay yell at people’s crumbling restaurants and then magically try to fix them. 

“Evan, you need to get over, it’s the next turn,” Heidi said. Evan glanced at her, turned down the music and transferred lanes before turning off of the highway. 

He hummed along to the musical song playing through his speakers and tapped on the steering wheel. Heidi chuckled as he moved to singing along to the song that was definitely way too high for his range 

“I still don’t know why you didn’t go for performing. You would’ve done great in musicals,” Heidi said. Evan immediately quieted and shook his head with a small laugh, stopping at a red light. 

“Yeah ‘cause uh, I’m such a great candidate for being on a uh stage,” Evan laughed, shaking his head lightly. “Remember when I played the cowardly lion in my fourth grade play? I didn’t get a single line right and I ran off crying at the beginning of the second act,” he said, earning a laugh from the both of them. 

“That was years ago,” Heidi pointed out.  

“So? If anything, my stage fright has gotten worse since then,” Evan said. “If I uh, tried to do something now, it would be just a uh… just a giant- huge disaster. Besides, it’s too late now. I’ve got no experience- proper, experience,” Evan said with a small shrug, pulling into the parking lot of the airport. 

Now that they’re at the airport- haven’t even gotten out of the car yet- Evan really didn’t want his mom to go. He bit back any sort of strong emotions as he pulled into the drop off zone by the entrance. 

They both got out and Evan went around to the other side of the car to say his goodbyes. She pulled him into a tight hug and Evan hugged back, groaning quietly about how tight she was holding him but he didn’t mind. He didn’t want it to end. 

“Be good, okay? And don’t be afraid to contact me or Jared. Obviously we won’t be able to come see you but we’ll be able to talk to you and uh, I’ll email you a list of therapists in the area.  _ Please  _ find one you like? And uh, make sure you stay on top of your refills and everything. Don’t work yourself too thin- if you need some money just let us know and we’ll transfer some into your account,” Heidi rambled as she fixed Evan’s hair, followed by grabbing her backpack out of the front seat.  

Evan laughed and gave his mom one more quick hug. He was not going to cry. 

“Alright Mom… Don’t uh… don’t worry. I’ll be okay,” Evan said with a small smile. “Keep me updated about Rob and the kids, yeah? And uh, oh! Get Jared’s mathletes sweater from him and mail it to me,” he joked. 

“I’ll see you at Christmas Evan,” she said. 

“Yeah. Christmas,” Evan confirmed with a small nod and a sad smile. “Text me when you get home, okay?” 

“I will. Let me know what your roommate is like when you meet him. I want to know all the details!” Heidi said, fixing her backpack on her shoulder. 

One last hug and then Heidi walked through the doors to go get checked in. Evan breathed heavily and ran a hand through his hair before getting into the car. It was bittersweet leaving her for college. Just like it was bittersweet to leave Jared and home and everything. He knew it would be rough to transition to living on his own but hopefully by time his roommate moved in he’ll have gotten his shit together. 


	2. Chapter 2

“Yeah I uh, got a job just downstairs actually. It’s nothing special… just a cashier at this pizza place?  I work monday nights, wednesday mornings and saturday afternoons. It’s a weird set of hours,” Evan laughed, picking at his sweater sleeve. 

“That’s great babe,” Jared said on the other end of the skype call. He was only half paying attention, playing his stupid medieval dragon slaying game but Evan didn’t mind. He was pretending to do something on his phone but in reality his full attention was on Jared. 

“Yeah…” Evan sighed. 

“Some of the options are really weird like uh, there’s a breakfast pizza? A-and like a, strawberry peach cream dessert pie? It’s uh… real weird,” he laughed. Jared smiled and chuckled. 

“Classic university food,” Jared said. 

“Breakfast pizza?” Evan asked. 

“No, weird as fuck combinations,” Jared laughed. Evan chuckled and rolled his eyes. 

“Any sign of the roommate yet?” Jared asked before making a series of shouting noises as a dragon roar came from his playstation. 

“Nope. Uh, today is the first day of orientation week though so most students are moving in today,” Evan said with a small shrug. “It wouldn’t surprise me if he came today sometime…” 

“Not going to any of the orientation things today?” Jared asked. 

“No uh, I looked at what was going on… just uh, mostly tours and stupid games and stuff. None of it is my thing really. I uh, found all my classes around campus on friday so uh, I don’t need a tour,” Evan said. “It looks super crowded down in Hell’s Kitchen so like…” 

“Wait what-  _ Hell’s kitchen? _ ” Jared asked with a small laugh. 

“Yeah uh, that’s what people kind of call it around the school. It’s the uh,  _ the hub  _ officially… like a bunch of shops and food places? I work down there now but uh, yeah they call it hell’s kitchen for some reason,” Evan rambled, Jared laughed on the other end of the line, glancing between Evan and his game. It looked like he paused it before turning to look at the computer.

“Evan. Please tell me it’s because you’re in  _ Gordon _ and the hell’s kitchen is a reference to that Gordon Ramsay show,” Jared laughed. Evan just kind of blinked as it processed through his brain. He didn’t even realize and  _ god he was an idiot.  _

“Yeah I uh, I guess it must be…” He trailed off with an awkward laugh. He bit his lip, before fiddling with his phone as he unlocked it, before going on instagram just so he could be doing something. 

“Oh I see how it is Ev, ignoring me to look at something stupid on your phone,” Jared joked. Evan smiled softly and shrugged. If Jared was beside him, he would have nudged him and then chuckled but Jared wasn’t here. 

_ Jared wasn’t here. _

He came to terms with that on Thursday while they were skyping and Evan really really  _ really _ wanted to kiss Jared. He couldn’t though, so he ended the call and just kind of cried. It wasn’t harsh or anything, just a few stray tears. He already was really missing home. He felt stupid looking back on it, Jared was coming down during Evan’s fall break and the two were going to rent out a hotel and stay there for a bit. Well, four days. He only had to survive a couple months without him and he’d be here. 

“You just ignored me for some stupid dragon game!” Evan argued. 

“Hey hey hey hey hey…  _ hey _ . I was fighting a serpentine dragon. Those guys are hard to fight,” Jared argued back. Evan chuckled and shook his head. 

The dull sound of a key rattling was coming from down the hall and Evan bit his lip. 

“I think my roommate is here,” Evan said nervously. Jared smiled and made a small celebration sound. The walls were paper thin.

“Good! Go meet him, help him with his boxes, do something to make a good impression!” Jared said with a small flick of the hands- a motion that was supposed to simulate pushing someone towards something, Evan guessed. 

The door opened and Evan knew it was his roommate now. His bedroom door was wide open so he could hear everything- but it more or less sounded like a family chatting over each other. Evan bit his lip and looked to Jared. 

“I don’t want to meet him. What if he doesn’t like me? What if he spits in my mouthwash… or he doesn’t clean up after himself? God what if he’s against same sex relationships? Jared this… this is uh, going to be  _ so  _ bad,” Evan said, ringing his hands out like a wet face cloth. 

“God Connor would you get out of the doorway! This box is heavy,” a girls voice came through, clearly disgruntled. 

“Sorry I can’t find the right fucking key!” A male said. 

“Connor Murphy watch your language! Your roommate is down the hall,” another female voice came, probably the mother’s. Oh god- did they just address him?

“Jared can you hear what’s going on?” Evan whispered, turning down his volume before plugging in his headphones to continue to talk to Jared. 

“Little bit yeah. Sounds like the family is arguing,” Jared said with a small shrug. 

“I’m going to stay out of it,” Evan said. 

“Good plan.” 

Evan still kept one earbud out so he could listen to what was going on outside in the other room. They were all very loud. There were four people there, the son, Connor, who was his roommate sounded kind of scary, but Evan wasn’t going to judge too quickly. Well he was, but he didn’t want to. Then his sister was there, Chloe, Evan thought he heard and then the parents. All four of them bickering.

“Alright they’re kind of freaking me out,” Evan said with a small laugh. Jared had since gone back to his game and they both went silent. 

“Alright you know what? We’re leaving then- if you don’t want our help,” the father’s voice came. “Good luck unpacking Son.” 

There was a pause and what sounded like most of them leaving. 

“Call me if you need anything. We’re only a three hour drive away,” the mother said. The roommate, Connor, scoffed. 

“Yeah cause that’s like driving over to the grocery store. Quick and easy. I don’t even have a car!” Connor said with a bitter laugh. Even Jared looked over at the camera with a concerned face. 

“Well we all know who’s fault that is. Be good Connor. And introduce yourself to your roommate sometime today,” the lady said. 

“Yeah well we probably already scared him off.” 

Then it went silent. Evan gnawed on his lower lip and sighed. A couple minutes had passed now and it seemed that Connor had calmed down. He felt weird knowing his name without having a face to go with it. Evan sighed and ringed out his hands again. 

“Alright. I uh, I’m going to go talk to my roommate I guess… I’ll talk to you later,” Evan said. 

“Okay Acorn, I’ll call you tonight.”

“I love you,” Evan said. Jared turned to the camera and smiled. 

“Love you too,” Jared said and then Evan ended the call. 

Evan sat on his bed for another minute, talking himself up to be able to go say hi to his roommate. He would consider the conversation a success if he could just say hello. That was it. Just say hello to his roommate, get his name-  _ even though he already knew his name  _ \- and then leave again. 

Evan got up and sighed before putting his phone down on his bed and slowly walking down the hallway. The bathroom was directly across from Connor’s room. He could grab something from his cupboard and then say hello. That would seem natural. 

Evan slipped into the bathroom and grabbed a toothpick from his cupboard. That was a lame thing to grab- but what else was he supposed to grab? His medication? Shampoo? Actually… he hadn’t taken his medication this morning, come to think of it. Evan sighed and turned to the door and looked through his roommates room. 

“Uh, hi,” Evan said quietly, before clearing his throat and speaking up a bit louder. “Hi.” 

The guy- Connor, looked at Evan and glanced him up and down before smirking and taking some things out of a box. 

“Hi,” he said shortly, taking out a rainbow flag from his box and shaking it out. Obviously  Evan’s mind immediately went to  _ gay.  _ Which wasn’t a bad thing, he was dating Jared after all, who was gay. It just- wow. His roommate was gay. Wait no, he didn’t if he was but just-

“Are you uh, gay?” Evan asked, just blurting it out rudely. God he shouldn’t have done that! Connor cocked his eyebrow up and looked at Evan. 

“Got a problem with that?” he snapped, catching Evan by surprise. He physically jumped, before stepping forward into his doorframe. 

“No! God no I uh, I’m actually uh, bisexual? Yeah with a preference towards men so uh, there’s no problem here it uh, just took me by surprise? Like uh, I don’t even know your name but I know you’re gay? That’s kind of like… reading someone's diary but not knowing who’s diary it is? And… god I’m sorry I’m just rambling at this point,” Evan said with a small shake of the head. 

He chuckled. 

“It’s alright uh, it’s... kind of cute,” Connor said. “Connor.”

“Yeah! Yeah I uh know… I heard you and your family talking. Sorry that’s weird… I’m Hansen- uh Evan Hansen. You probably didn’t need to know my last name but now you know! So like uh…” Evan said, his face going bright red. 

“That’s fine. Whatever. I uh, I’m going to unpack now though,” Connor said, gesturing to the boxes and few garbage bags around his room. 

“Oh yeah! Of course uh, if you want help I’ll uh, just… be in my room, I guess,” Evan said with a small, awkward laugh.

“Yeah sure,” he said shortly. He seemed pissed off, just by the way he was standing there over his box, but Evan could kind of understand why. 

As soon as he got back into his room and back on his bed, he opened his phone and texted Jared. He had to remind himself that he wasn’t mad at Evan, and probably didn’t have any opinions on him yet. 

 

**To Jared:** _ He’s pissed, but I think it’s because of his family. I might wait awhile before trying to talk to him again. _

 

**From Jared:** _ Sounds like a plan _

 

**To Jared:** T _ his probably doesn’t matter but he’s gay so I don’t have to worry about him being against us. It’s stupid to think his opinion would matter since I don’t have to tell him about us cause that’s none of his business. But yeah! Gay. _

 

**From Jared:** _ I’ll have to watch out then  don’t want him to steal my man ;)  _

 

Evan chuckled and rolled his eyes. Connor was a very attractive person, he had to admit that, but no one could take Jared’s place. Even if he was as far away as he is. 

 

**To Jared:** _ Out of my entire text that’s what you take away? _

**To Jared:** _ but you’re okay, don’t worry ;) _

**To Jared:** _ *:) _

 

**From Jared:** _ KiNky!! _

 

**To Jared:** _ I hope you know I’m rolling my eyes at you right now.  _

 

Evan hummed softly as he cleaned his room up just a bit. Since he hadn’t had a roommate all of last week, he didn't worry too too much about keeping his room clean. It shouldn’t matter anyways since they have seperate rooms, but he still wanted to keep everything clean. 

He wondered if Connor thought to bring dishes with him. Evan didn’t bring any, but he bought some at the grocery store down the road a couple days ago. He wouldn’t mind sharing them, actually. That was stupid. They were just plates and  _ shoot there are unwashed plates and cups in the sink.  _

They didn’t have a dishwasher so Evan did them all by hand. He was usually pretty good about it but he had slacked off the last couple of days and god there was still spaghetti sauce on this plate… and on top of the drain.

He filled the sink with hot water and soap and continued to hum as he washed the few plates. Luckily their dorm room had a full kitchen set, as small as it was, but it was nice. The stove worked fine, but the over took a long time to preheat. 

He felt stupid. He felt so stupid. Why did he feel stupid? 

“Beauty and the beast?” Connor asked, suddenly leaning against the counter. 

Evan jumped, dropping the plate back into the sink and holding his soapy hand to his chest. Yeah, that’s why he felt stupid.

“P-pardon?” Evan asked, shaking the water from his hands. 

“The song you’re humming. It’s  _ if I can’t love her _ , right?” he asked. 

“Uh, yeah… yeah it is,” Evan said, picking the plate back up from the sink. 

“You a theatre kid?” Connor asked. Evan couldn’t tell if he was bitter about that or not. It didn’t really matter since Evan  _ wasn’t  _ a theatre kid. Or was he? No technical stuff wasn’t classified as being a theatre kid but like- “ _ Evan? _ ” 

“Oh! Uh… no? No. I’m actually majoring in uh, environmental sciences? So not really but kind of… I just… really like musicals?” Evan said. “But no I uh, no offense to theatre kids or anything- they’re great but uh, I would rather stick my hand on lit stove top than perform.” He laughed nervously. 

“I mean, I’m not a theatre kid either,” Connor said. “I’m just fine arts myself.” 

“Oh. That uh,so you’re like- an artist?” Evan asked, drying his hands on his shirt because there were no towels around. Evan couldn't tell if Connor was judging him or not for that. He was giving Evan a stink eye by the looks of it.  _ God Connor already hated him.  _

“Indeed I am,” Connor shrugged and pushed himself up to sit on the counter. 

“Shouldn't you be unpacking?” Evan asked. 

“Shouldn't you?” replied Connor. 

“I moved in a week ago,” Evan said. “Had to drive uh, I think… Well like, three days to get here.”

Connor raised his eyebrows before mouthing the word  _ wow. _

“Well that doesn't matter. I want food. Where's a good pizza place around here?” Connor asked. Evan blinked and shrugged before draining the sink. 

“I uh… I don't actually er- know?” Evan replied. 

“You've lived here a week and you haven't ordered pizza?” Connor asked. He almost seemed shocked. Well, I guess he was a university student now.

“Yeah. It's uh, actually a really funny thing cause like… well I don't uh, god this is stupid... “ Evan ran a hand through his hair. “I don't uh, like talking to people? Like uh. Ordering pizza over the phone and then having them come to the door? Yeah uh. No thanks,” Evan laughed nervously. 

Connor just _stared_ at him before shaking his head and chuckling. God Evan felt ridiculous. Conner took out his phone and typed something in silently. 

“What so you're like, an antisocial person or something?” he said, still looking down at his phone. 

“Actually uh, it's anxiety? Antisocial is actually like a uh lack of emotion for others? Well more like lack of morals and _ usually  _ a history of crime? And uh the last thing I am is a criminal,” Evan said. “Sorry I'm rambling.” 

“It's fine. I actually didn't know that,” Connor said. Connor was looking at him oddly. He didn't know what it meant. It didn't seem like a bad look. Maybe even impressed? Evan blushed and shrugged. 

“So uh, food?” Evan said.  

“Yeah! Food. There's probably a dominos around right?” Connor asked, back to typing on his phone. 

“Probably yeah.” 

“What kind of pizza do you like?” 

“Oh!” Right. Connor suggested they get food. “Well actually I'm not that hungry? But you can order something.” 

Connor raised an eyebrow. 

“What, trying to avoid your roommate? Already scared of me?” Connor asked. There was a slight hint of bitterness to his voice, but Evan tried not to let it bug him. Was he angry at Evan? 

“No! I uh, I’ll hang out with you but I just… I ate just before you got here so I just uh,” Evan said. Connor narrowed his eyes and glared at Evan before it softened and he looked down at his phone. 

“Do you have a car?” Connor asked. 

“Yeah I do,” Evan said. “Uh, why?” 

“Can we take it to pick up the pizza? Instead of having it delivered. It’s cheaper that way,” Connor said. Evan nodded, forgetting to say something because this has been the longest conversation he’s had all week that wasn’t with Jared or his mom. 

“Alright I am a meat lover myself,” Connor said as he pulled up the website on his phone. “What about you?” 

“Well I mean, I really like vegetarian with extra spinach but you don't need to worry about me. Like I uh, like I said I ate earlier,” Evan said with a small shrug. Connor rolled his eyes. 

“It's four pm… you'll be hungry in a few hours. Just let me buy my roommate a pizza to make a good impression. Lord knows after my family I need to,” Connor said sarcastically. Evan chuckled nervously and shifted from one foot to the other. 

“Okay yeah. Just uh, a small one though… please. I don't eat much… pizza! Eat much pizza. Usually,” Evan said. Connor raised an eyebrow and nodded before looking back down to his phone. He pushed off the counter and sat down on the couch. 

Evan stood against the counter. He didn't know if he should sit down with him or stay or go to his room. He just wanted to text Jared. They hadn't spoken much the past couple days. It would probably be rude to just walk away from Connor though. Then again, Connor wasn't talking either. 

“Did you go to any of the orientation shit today?” Connor asked. Evan shook his head.

“Don't feel a need to,” Evan said. “Not much of a social person.” He shrugged. Connor snorted. 

“I can tell,” he said. Evan shrunk into himself. Of course he could tell. Evan was pathetic. He didn't talk to anyone but his boyfriend ninety six driving hours away.  

Evan bit his lip. He hesitated, before filling a cup with water. 

“Just come get me… when you wanna go pick up the pizza,” Evan said. Connor nodded shortly, more interested in trying to turn on the television. 

Evan hummed and sat back down on his bed, curling up into the corner. He checked his phone. No new messages. 

He debated texting Jared again, but chances were if they Skyped it wouldn't last very long at all. Since Evan agreed to go drive to pick up the pizza and everything. 

He closed his eyes and put his headphones in. Sleep sounded like a wonderful idea. He wouldn't do it, obviously. 

Connor knocked on the open door and Evan looked up at him. He took out his earbuds and got up, grabbing his wallet and keys. 

“Which location?” Evan asked. 

“The nearest one? I dunno. Didn't look,” Connor said. Evan rolled his eyes as they left the dorm room. 

Evan started up his car as Connor got into the passenger side. His CD player blasted  conveniently halfway through  _ March of the Falsettos _ with the four men singing in unbroken, squeaky voices. 

Evan felt the heat rush to his face as he ejected the CD from his car. He put the CD in its case and turned on the radio. 

“You still listen to CDs?” Connor asked. Evan shrugged. 

“My car doesn't have any way to connect to my phone. Plus uh, I like having the little pamphlets that come with it?” Evan said. “I only really listen to musicals anyways and the cds are cheap on Amazon and stuff so like… I mean it's not that big of a deal.” 

Connor laughed. “Can't relate.”

Evan sighed. He liked his CD collection. It showed how his music taste evolved over the years and It made his shelves look not as bare. Obviously he had spotify on his phone but that was for his phone. CDs were for the car. 

“So you listen to musicals,” Connor said. Evan shrugged. 

“Yeah,” he said simply. “I uh, like them a lot? They're just… better than whatever the radio plays, I guess.” 

Connor nodded slightly. 

 

Evan didn't eat much of his pizza. The two sat in awkward silence while watching some sitcom on Netflix. They hadn't said much of a word since they got back from the pizza place. 

It wasn't like anything happened. They just… it was becoming abundantly clear that they had close to nothing in common. 

“So you're bisexual?” Connor asked. 

Evan hesitated. 

“Yup,” he said. That was what he called himself anyways. He only really ever had feelings for Jared. True romantic feelings. He really didn't know. Bisexual was just simpler than “I don't know.” 

Connor smirked and turned back to the television. 

“What's your opinion on drugs?” Connor asked kinda bluntly. 

Evan furrowed his eyebrows. “Drugs?” 

“Weed, edibles, crack, anything else along those lines,” Connor said  Evan shifted uncomfortably. 

“I uh, don't want them around me… or well- I don't like them. I don't plan on doing anything, if you're uh- we, asking me to  _ blaze up  _ or something,” Evan said. Connor laughed. 

“Blaze up? Jesus,” he laughed. “it's cool. I uh, just wanted to make sure.” 

“Why?” Evan asked. 

“I've been sober for almost a year now. Don't want my cute roommate breaking the chain,” Connor said with a small wink. 

Evan blushed and looked down at the half eaten pizza slice on his plate. 

“Yeah I uh, no drugs here,” Evan said, his voice cracking. He didn't want to straight up tell Connor he had a boyfriend. That was weird and unneeded but, well, he didn't know how much he liked being hit on. 

“I might just head off to bed now,” Evan announced as Connor shifted a bit closer. 

“It's only eight thirty,” Connor said. Evan shrugged and stood up. 

“Yeah yeah I know I just uh… got things I need to do,” Evan said. 

“Classes haven't started yet,” Connor said. Evan shrugged. 

“Yeah no I know I just… I'm tired. I wanna read and uh, no offense but this has been the most social interactment I've had in the past week and I'm just tired,” Evan said.  _ And I have a boyfriend but for some reason I'm not telling you that.  _

Connors face fell and Evan offered a small smile. 

“Alright. Goodnight then Hansen,” Connor said. Evan nodded slightly. 

“Goodnight Connor.” He liked to think his last name was maybe Smith. He looked like a Connor Smith. 

It was probably not Smith. However, until Connor told him his real last name, he was definitely Connor Smith. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So, here's the deal. Since this story had five chapters already written (technically more, but three of them were deleted entirely from my reworked plot) and I'm also working on two other stories at the same time, this guy is only going to updated on Mondays until I either catch up with the chapters on here, or until I finish one of my other stories (I'm about halfway done through a 12 chaptered story so I mean) 
> 
> Obviously AWOL is going to be a longer story (compared to most of my other stories... my longest completed one right now has 18 chapters I think. But yeah! This stories going to have very slow updates compared to my other two, which are both updated twice a week usually. Check them out if you want! Lol. 
> 
> Alright, I'm gone now. See you!


	3. Chapter 3

Evan wrung out his hands as he waited for his tea to cool and his toast to pop. The week had been blissful- Evan barely left the dorm room. Neither did Connor-  _ who was still making flirtatious comments but Evan hadn’t done anything about it _ . 

If he had to admit it, he didn’t mind the attention. 

Jared wasn’t making very much time to talk to Evan. He was busy getting ready for his own classes though, so Evan understood. For the most part.

He sighed as Connor came out of the bathroom, nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist, a pair of pants slung over his shoulder and his still damp hair tied up in a bun. 

“You’re out of your room early,” Connor commented. Evan nodded, picking up his mug. 

“Big day a uh, ahead of me,” Evan said with a small shrug. 

“Why?” Connor asked.

“Well… it’s Monday? Classes start… today,” Evan said hesitantly.  _ It was Monday, right? _

“Oh,” Connor said, leaning against the wall. His towel was slipping.  _ His towel was slipping _ . 

“Yeah.” Evan blushed, turning around to face away from Connor. He buttered his toast and sat down on the couch, staring directly ahead of him. He would not look at Connor. Nope. He was practically naked. 

“You have Monday morning classes?” Connor said. Evan nodded. Connor sat down beside him. Evan shifted over. 

“Yeah… just a lecture thingy at ten thirty… and that’s it,” Evan said. “I work at  five until closing at ten thirty at this pizza place? Downstairs, actually… I uh- you know that,  _ I told you that already _ , but uh, I don’t know if I’ll come back. I say that, but I’ll probably come back? Since I’ve got nothing metter- batter-  _ better _ to do.” Evan laughed weakly. 

“I’ve got afternoon classes. ‘Shame… we could have done something fun.” Connor suggested casually. Evan felt his face heat up again as they made eye contact. He looked down at his toast and finished it.  

“I brought cards?” Evan said. Connor laughed. 

“Not what I had in mind,” Connor said. Evan smiled softly and sipped his tea. He probably knew what Connor had in mind. Connor seemed to constantly be horny. Or maybe Evan was just misinterpreting everything. 

Evan looked at him and cocked his head to the side, a small smile on his face  _ because he didn’t know what else to do _ . 

“What  _ did  _ you have in mind?” he asked. Connor’s smile only grew. Evan noticed his eyes flick down. He inched just a bit closer. Evan shook his head lightly.

“Maybe that tea won’t be the only thing you’ll be drinking tonight,” Connor said. Evan coughed, quickly setting his tea down. He looked away as his face got even hotter. Yeah no. Evan was  _ not  _ misinterpreting anything. 

“I uh, I’ve never done anything like that before?” Evan said.  _ Lie.  _

Evan had done it before… several times. Several, several times. It wasn’t his favourite thing to do, but he sure as hell liked getting them in return, so he sucked it up…  _ literally _ . 

If possible, just the  _ thought  _ of that happening made his face hotter and admittedly, his pants just a  _ little  _ tighter. He wished Jared were here- he didn’t know how he was going to go two and a half months without him. He had needs he didn’t particularly like to fulfill himself. 

Just because he felt  _ weird  _ masterbating. It wasn’t like he felt like he was entitled to having other people do those type of things for him.

Great. Now he was going to be uncomfortable all day. 

Connor chucked. 

“There’s a first time for everything, right?” he said. Evan shrugged. 

There was a brief pause. 

“Listen Evan, I’m not making you do anything you don’t want. Clearly it’s making you uncomfortable so I’ll lay off but seriously… If you ever want to try something like that out I would totally return the favour,” Connor said. Evan looked up in time to see him wink before he returned to his room. 

Evan finished his tea, cleaned his dishes and got the  _ heck  _ out of there to get to his classes. 

He walked down to Hell’s Kitchen and wandered down the already crowded hallway. The buildings were all connected, which was convenient. For all but one of his classes, he didn’t even have to go outside. Just a lot of walking.

Not that Evan didn’t like the outdoors- he did. He was studying environmental sciences, after all. He kind of wished he wasn’t here. It had only been two weeks… but he missed everyone. 

Evan Rob and the girls. Evan was not a fan of the little girls, but he just wanted to be there with them. 

He wanted to be with Jared, and Alana and-  _ well _ . Those two were his only real friends. Jared wasn’t even a friend. They went straight from ‘ _ family friends _ ’ to boyfriends. He was his favourite person though. He loved Jared. A lot. He kinda wished Connor would lay off of the flirting but… that would require confrontation. 

And once again, he liked getting attention. Was that selfish? Evan knew it kind of was, but he couldn’t help it. It was hard.

Connor was undeniably attractive. Not the most subtle or charismatic person, but he was nice. Evan didn’t like long hair on guys, but he liked it on Connor. A lot. He pulls it off well. His skin was so perfect too- not a single acne scar to be found…  _ and his eyes _ . God his eyes were just the  _ perfect _ shade of green. His lips looked kissable too- they just looked so-

Nope. Evan was not having these thoughts. Not now, not ever. He was with Jared, and just because Jared was thousands of miles away meant nothing. He wasn’t going to do anything with Connor. He didn’t even like Connor. Connor just flirted with him so much that he was starting to have these thoughts. 

It was some weird, Connor Smith voodoo. 

Evan made a mental note to figure out Connor’s actual last name. It wasn’t Smith, he knew that. Or maybe it  _ was  _ Smith. Evan had never asked. He liked to think it was Smith.  _ How cool would that be _ ? 

It wouldn’t be the most attractive name to moan, however.  _ Connor Smith _ … Yeah no, last names were better with two syllables. Or at least the same amount of syllables that were in his first name… which was two too. Maybe Connor wasn’t into the whole moaning names thing though. Was that a thing? Jared liked it, sometimes he had Evan just use his last name. Maybe that was just a Jared thing. Jared liked weird things. 

_ No wonder Jared liked Evan _ .

    Jared was the only person he was going to be thinking about doing  _ anything  _ with. He totally was  _ not  _ getting hard over thoughts about Connor. 

Evan hesitated as he approached his class. He double checked the number. It was right, but no one was around. Alright. This was fine. 

He slowly walked into the lecture hall and selected a seat towards in the front corner. He bit his lip and looked down at his phone. He texted Jared earlier, but no response. He hadn’t even read the messages. 

Evan sighed as more students tricked in. It was getting loud. Everyone was talking. It was weird. He didn’t want to do this. He’d be fine though. Most likely- it was just a lecture, after all.

It would have been nice to have Jared’s classic preparation speech. Every time Evan did something new, whether it be a near year in high school, or his internship at Ellison park, or that time he started working at a bookstore, Jared was there to talk to him. He’d make sure Evan felt okay and told him he would do great and then kissed him, usually on the forehead, and everything would be okay. Jared was always just a phone call away after all. Of course, now he wasn’t. Because they had different time zones and Jared was probably still sleeping right now. Besides, he had been ignoring Evan’s calls for the past four days. 

He called his mom, and Heidi said Jared was doing fine. He and Alana had actually stopped by the other day and had lunch with Heidi and Rob. 

That stung. A lot. 

All of his favourite people were making memories they would hold onto forever. They were forming inside jokes and making stories to tell and Evan wouldn’t be there for any of it. He was the  _ only  _ one who went away for college. He regretted that. He knew this was a great opportunity for him. He was pursuing what he loved- but… he was just a memory to the others now. Sure he’d be back but… 

But they’d all drift apart. 

Alana and he were never the closest before. They were closer than Jared and she was, but still. Alana was always so busy. Now she was making time for lunch with Jared and Heidi. She was making time to hang out with Evan’s  _ mom.  _

Evan had only had two conversations with his mom. It was rough, going from talking to her every day to almost never. 

Evan swallowed harshly as the professor walked in and started the lesson. 

Did they all even miss him? Come to think of it, Alana had only texted him to ask if they had volunteered at an adopt a dog event in April or May. It was May, because it happened the weekend after Emily, Rob’s oldest daughter, turned ten years old. That was besides the point. 

He hadn’t met anyone since he came here. Besides his boss, a coworker and Connor. His boss didn’t care much though. She only gave him half an hour of training before disappearing into the back room. His coworker kind of sucked, in the nicest way possible. He sat on his phone and only put it away when he needed to make another pizza. 

Evan wiped at his eyes and focused in on the teacher. His mouth was moving but it wasn’t making any sound. Or- it was, but… it sounded like the adults in Charlie Brown. 

Was he Charlie Brown?

He felt like it. He felt unwanted-  _ unneeded _ . He was unneeded. 

No one would notice if he just disappeared. No one texted him anyways. He was away, a million miles apart from everyone. If he just didn’t bring his ID with him, nothing could identify him. He could stage it like an accident and none would be the wiser. 

He could lose control in his car and crash into a tree. Maybe get a bit drunk so that-

These thoughts weren't okay. Evan shouldn’t be thinking this way- _ not again _ . 

He couldn’t help it though. They were true. They weren’t true, but they  _ felt  _ true. It didn’t help that everyone was ignoring him.  _ Connor wasn’t ignoring him.  _

He needed Jared. Evan needed Jared right now. He couldn’t be in this classroom anymore. It was too loud-  _ his thoughts were loud enough _ . Was his teacher talking about Shakespeare? His class wasn’t on Shakespeare. 

_ Was he in the wrong class _ ? 

What a cherry on top of the cake. 

He needed to move. He needed to get up and leave but he couldn’t move. 

It felt like everyone was watching him. Why on earth did he pick to sit in the front row? Why? He never did that! Why now?

Because he was an idiot. That’s why. He was thinking so much about his stupidly attractive roommate and how he’d rather make out with him than have a skype call with Jared while he played some stupid  _ Elder Scrolls  _ game. 

Evan choked out a loud, dry, sob. 

_Now_ everyone was looking at him. 

He stood up and grabbed his things, at least hopefully his things, and  _ bolted  _ out of there. He couldn't breathe. He just wanted a hug, that was all. He just wanted to be  _ home _ , in Jared’s arms, making memories with the people who he loved. 

But he couldn’t do that. Not for another four years pretty much. Sure, he’d have winter break and summer but  _ that wasn’t enough _ . 

Evan wiped at his eyes as he slid down the wall just around the corner, tucked in the hallway that connected the arts building to Hell’s Kitchen. 

It had been just over two weeks. It took Evan two weeks and the first ten minutes of a class to break him. He wanted to go home.

With shaky hands, he dialed Jared’s number. He’d get charged for long distance, but he didn’t care. He just wanted to hear Jared’s voice. 

It rang and rang and rang and then it went to voicemail. 

_ Evan giggled and a muffled moving sound was heard.  _

_ “Sorry I didn’t answer-” Jared was cut off by both of them laughing. “Chances are I’m doing something awesome with the insanely cool Evan Hansen, so uh-”  _

_ “Yeah cause I’m cool,” Evan laughed.  _

_ “You are!” Jared shot back. “Anyways, yeah. I’m with someone better than you, so leave a voicemail if you want but chances are I won’t listen to it. Just text me instead.”  _

_ Evan laughed again.  _

_ “How professional Jare,” he giggled.  _

_ “Oh I’m the most professional,” Jared laughed back _ and then the voicemail started. 

Evan tried to steady his breathing, not taking his phone away from his ear. At least he got to hear Jared happy. The voicemail was over two years old. It was the summertime and the two had gotten a  _ little  _ high ( _ thanks to Jared grabbing the weed brownies instead of the regular ones from his house _ ) and it was two am. 

That was the only time Evan had gotten high. It was fun, but he never wanted to do it again. They had ordered four large pizzas, and a bunch of weird books off of Amazon. 

Evan still had most of them. They were horrible stories, but he loved to laugh at them, usually with Jared. 

He let out another loud sob and ended the voicemail. 

Jared didn’t care. He didn’t want to talk to Evan. He probably was flirting with some cute guy on his campus already. There was a good chance he just got sick of the fact that Evan sucked at having conversations over texts and skype.

Evan heaved and got up. That was fine. He chose this path. He decided to go somewhere  _ not  _ home for University. What a stupid decision. What a stupid Evan Hansen. 

He unlocked his dorm and sighed. 

He was okay. He wasn’t crying. He hadn’t ever started, really. He wasn’t thinking anymore. He was just… numb. 

Evan hated being numb. 

“Evan?” Connor called out.

Evan collapsed on the couch and closed his eyes. He wiped down his face and swallowed. 

“Don’t you have a lecture going on?” Connor asked. Evan forced a small smile before looking down at his hands. 

“I uh, was bored,” he laughed. He glanced back up at Connor, who frowned softly as he sat down next to Evan. 

“You alright?” he asked. 

“My minds just being an uh, a uh- an asshole,” Evan said. 

“How so?” 

“Just… homesick,” Evan said with a small shrug.  _ I miss my boyfriend and I’m pretty sure he’s totally forgot I existed. _ “And I uh, may or may not had went to the wrong class… I honestly don’t know,” he laughed. 

“Can you put my arm around me?” Evan asked. “ _ It’s weird I know I just-” _

Connor put his arm around him without hesitation. He rested his head on Connor’s shoulder with a small content sigh. If Evan closed his eyes, it could almost be Heidi comforting him. 

“I might just… drop out,” Evan said. 

“It’ll get better,” Connor said quickly. “Just stay… You chose this school for a reason, right?” 

“I guess I just… no one’s talking to me,” Evan said softly. “I miss them…” 

“Fuck them then,” Connor said. “If they’re actively avoiding you fuck. Them.” 

Evan sighed. 

“They’re all really busy and stuff… I just… I dunno,” Evan said.  

“Make friends here then,” Connor said. “Some dude I ran into invited me to a party on Friday.” 

“I don’t do parties,” Evan said quickly with a quick shake of the head. 

“I don’t either,” he laughed. Evan nuzzled into Connor’s neck. This was wrong, he knew that, but it wasn’t like they were kissing or anything. Friends could cuddle… platonically. Platonic cuddles were a thing. 

“Who knows though, maybe we could try being crazy teenagers before we’re tied down with thousands of student loans and a job that we’re not happy with,” Connor joked. Evan chuckled. 

“I don’t know…” Evan muttered. 

“Think about it,” Connor said casually. He went to hold Evan’s hand but Evan pulled away. He sat up, slowly processing everything. He pushed Connor’s arm away and sat on the edge of the couch. He smiled softly and looked over to Connor. 

“I’ll uh… yeah. I’ll think about it,” Evan said. Connor smiled. 

“Cool.” 

 

Evan sighed as they closed up the pizza place,  _ Deshane’s Pizza _ . He was relieved his shift was finally over and he could just go home and  _ sleep _ . It had been a long day and an even longer shift. No one liked this god awful place. Evan didn’t even like it. The food stunk and he got paid pretty crappy.

He and his coworker exchanged good nights and Evan made his way back up to his dorm. The one nice thing was that the place was so close, he was almost directly above it. 

His phone buzzed in his pocket. As he walked up the cement stairs he pulled it out, rolled his eyes and ended it. He didn’t want to talk to Jared right now. 

That was a lie. He really  _ really _ wanted to talk to Jared but he didn’t want to talk to anyone. Not even Connor. 

Not that he held Connor on a higher pedestal than Jared. Jared  _ was  _ on a higher one but, he just… had a choice to talk to Jared. Connor was so much closer to him. Physically, not emotionally. Jared was by far closer emotionally. He didn’t need to pick up a phone or a laptop to talk to him. 

His phone buzzed several times in a row. 

Evan unlocked the front door. He gave a small wave as he passed Connor’s door. Connor didn’t notice him, but he was focused on his sketchbook in front of him.

Evan went to his room and collapsed on his bed. He left the light off and the door open. He didn’t have enough energy to do anything else. He didn’t bother getting changed, instead just took off his gross shirt and jeans and crawled under the covers. 

He grabbed his phone and sighed. 

 

**From Jared:** _ You ok ev? _

**From Jared:** _ What wa going on with that boiceman? _

**From Jared:** _ *Voicemail  _

**From Jared:** _ Call me when you wake up  or see this or whatever  _

 

Evan sighed. He couldn’t stay mad at Jared. Realistically he shouldn't be mad at Jared. It wasn’t his fault he wasn’t available earlier today. He was probably still sleeping. He didn’t check it for twelve hours but… who knew what was going on. 

Instead of texting him back, Evan plugged in his earbuds and called Jared. 

He picked it up on one of the first rings. 

“Hey Ev, what’s going on?” Jared said. Evan pulled his cover over his head and closed his eyes. 

“I’m ‘kay now,” Evan said quietly. “Tired but…” 

“What was going on with the voicemail? You were crying on it for like… four minutes,” Jared said. Evan couldn’t see his face, but his tone was concerning. He was concerned about Evan. Evan knew that. He didn’t want Jared to worry about him- he had better things to do. 

“My class didn’t go er- didn’t go very well,” Evan said dryly, forcing a chuckle from his throat. “I uh… needed someone to talk to I guess… but it’s all okay. I’ll get used to it.” He laughed for real this time. 

“I’m sorry Acorn… I didn’t… I was asleep,” Jared said. 

“No, no. I know,” Evan cut him off. “It’s okay. Don’t worry I uh, I got through it fine.” 

“I’m sorry,” Jared repeated. 

“It’s good, don’t worry. Like I said… I figured it out. I ditched my class but uh, my roommate and I hung out,” Evan said casually. 

“You and… Connor? Getting along well then?” Jared asked.

“Yeah… Connor and I are getting pretty close. He’s fun to hang out with,” Evan said. He just wanted to sleep. 

“Not too close I hope,” Jared laughed. 

“No? No I uh- nope,” Evan said.

_ Evan was having incredibly suggestive thoughts about him all day though.  _

Jared laughed again. 

Connor knocked on his door. Evan sat up and took an earbud out. 

“What was that?” Jared asked. 

“Just Connor… Hey I uh, I’m going to let you go. I’ll text you later,” Evan said.  

“Oh uh, alright… see you Acorn,” Jared said quietly. 

“See you.” 

Evan hung up. There was no  _ I love you _ at the end. That was weird not to do, but he didn’t want to say it with Connor standing  _ right there _ . It didn’t really matter, he knew that. Jared was his boyfriend. Connor was just his roommate. That was it. 

“Who was that?” Connor asked. He flicked on the light. Evan pulled his blanket up around his naked torso. 

“Just a friend back home,” Evan dismissed casually. Connor smiled and his eyes weren’t looking at Evan’s face. 

“Are you naked?” Connor asked. 

“Can you mind your own business?” Evan said back. 

His eyes widened in horror as his words processed. 

“Oh god I am so sorry that was so rude I-” 

“It’s all good,” Connor chuckled. “I was kind of rude. I get that.” 

“I’ve got pants on,” Evan confirmed. Connor nodded. 

“Heading off to bed?” Connor asked. Evan nodded. Connor frowned while Evan looked down at his hands. He let the blanket fall down as he leant against his back wall. Connor’s eyes drifted down and Evan felt his face heat up once again. 

“Like what you see?” Evan joked. He wasn’t the fittest of people. He wasn’t the most attractive nor did he have the best body. Connor was staring quite a bit though.

He reached for a shirt on his floor and slipped it on. It had a ketchup stain on it, but Evan couldn’t be bothered.

“I mean, I did but then you covered it up,” Connor said. Evan chuckled. 

“I uh, there’s a limit as to how long you’re... allowed to look,” Evan said. Connor made a loud, playful sigh as he leant against the foot of Evan’s bed. 

“How can I extend that limit?” Connor asked. 

Evan shrugged. “Dunno.” 

“You’re killing me Evan Hansen,” Connor laughed. Evan joined in. 

“Right back at you Connor Smith,” Evan shot back. Connor laughed even louder. 

“Connor Smith?” he asked. Evan smiled, blushing. 

“I don’t know your last name so I uh, I just chose Smith,” Evan said. 

“As much as I love Connor Smith... it’s Murphy. Connor Murphy,” Connor said. Evan laughed. At least now he knew. “You could have just asked you know.” 

“Or I could just… d-do what I do best and er- just assume things- theroize things instead of figuring out the truth,” Evan laughed. Connor smiled and shook his head. 

“Good night Ev,” Connor said, flicking off the light again. 

“NIght…  _ Con _ ,” Evan said. 

“That doesn’t work as well.”

Evan hesitated.  

“No uh, no it doesn’t.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay- this is the last chapter that is just a copy and paste of the previous version of the story... so for the few people who are here because they read it before and saw it was back up via Tumblr, it's gonna be different next weekend! Promise! 
> 
> Thanks for reading- and I decide to update it a day (or two?) earlier, since it's mean to withhold chapters from ya'll since I have up to ten written haha. But, this is the best way for me to juggle all three stories I'm writing right now. Yikes.


	4. Chapter 4

Evan ran a hand through his hair as he walked out of the bathroom, his hands still damp from washing them. He smiled as he passed Connor doing the dishes, on track back to his bedroom.

A small laugh came from Connor as he splashed Evan with soapy water. Evan flinched, glaring playfully as he stopped walking.

“What was that for?” Evan asked. Connor smirked as he dried his hands on a rag. 

“I want attention,” Connor said playfully. Evan rolled his eyes and chuckled. 

“Go uh, go get some then,” Evan replied, a light blush on his cheeks, beginning to walk again. Connor stepped forward, stopping him in his tracks.

“That's what I'm trying to do,” Connor said. “ _ You've _ been in your room all day.” 

“Not- not true. I had two classes today,” Evan pointed out. Connor rolled his eyes. 

“Oh whatever,” he scoffed. He dipped his hand in the water and flicked it at Evan again. Evan scoffed and reached for the water, but Connor grabbed his wrist and pulled him away from the counter. They stumbled as Connor tugged them to the middle of the kitchen area.

Evan rolled his eyes and muttered, “unfair.” 

Connor chuckled and spun him around so they were facing each other. Evan smiled and playfully pushed him away. 

Connor stumbled a bit, and Evan took that opportunity to get back to the sink. He scooped up a handful of the bubbles, leaving as much water as he could out of it.

“Don't you dare,” Connor said. Evan raised an eyebrow and smiled. Connor took a step back. 

Evan lunged forward and smacked the bubbles down the side of Connor's face earning a small gasp from Connor. He pushed Evan back, causing them both to laugh and stumble a bit. Evan went to step away but Connor wrapped his arms around Evan’s waist and pulled him close. Evan put his hands on Connors chest and chuckled. 

“You can't get me back by holding onto me,” Evan pointed out.  

“You sure?” Connor asked. Evan hesitated. 

“Pretty sure…” Evan muttered. Connor smirked and pulled him closer. 

In one quick motion, Connor rubbed the bubbles off on Evan like a dog. Evan laughed and pushed him away once again, blowing the bubbles next to the corner of his mouth away. Connor smiled and wiped the bubbles that transferred off of Evan’s face, his hand eventually resting on Evans jaw. 

Evan felt his heart rate pick up. They were close. Very close. Connor was slowly leaning in, his eyes trailing down. The strange part was Evan wasn’t pulling away. In fact, he almost was encouraging it. 

“You’ve uh… got bubbles still down your uh, your… face,” Evan said quietly. Connor smiled softly. Their noses were almost touching. 

“I can feel them,” Connor replied. Evan chuckled and wiped them off of Connor’s check, instead wiping them on Connor’s hoodie. 

“Thanks,” Connor said sarcastically. Evan chuckled and moved his head to one side. 

Connor inched a bit closer once again. Slowly, as if he just knew Evan was going to pull away. Evan was tempted. He was  _ so _ tempted. All he wanted was a kiss- that was it. It was so hard to get the simplest things when your boyfriend was across the country. 

Jared was across the country… It was wrong but Jared would never know. He would never find out. 

_ He was skyping with Jared right now.  _

Evan sighed and looked down, carefully pulling away. Connor frowned and Evan offered him a small smile. 

“I uh, I should get back to my call,” Evan said quietly. 

“You’re on the phone right now?” Connor asked. 

“Y-yeah I uh, I’m skyping a uh, a friend,” Evan said. Connor nodded slowly. 

Evan hesitated, looking down to the ground. 

“I uh… I’m actually skyping my boyfriend?” Evan admitted, looking down at the ground. The awkward tension suddenly doubled in the room. Really he should have told Connor that right from the start but… at least now he knew. 

“Oh,” Connor said shortly. Evan bit his lip. 

“Yeah… I uh, sorry,” Evan said, hesitantly glancing up at Connor. 

“No no I get it, boyfriends before roommates. Enjoy your chat,” Connor said, his voice cracked a bit. He returned back to the dishes. Evan nodded slowly and returned to his room.

Jared was still focused on his video game, the camera barely shifted. Evan sighed quietly as he sat down on his bed, placing his laptop back on his lap. He unmuted it as he put his earbuds back in. 

“I’m back,” Evan said. Jared glanced at the screen for a brief second. 

“Didn’t even know you left,” he laughed. Evan forced a small chuckle, before focusing in on his phone. 

“Was gone for a while…” Evan muttered softly. 

“Hmm?”

“Nothing,” Evan said quickly. 

He smiled softly as he hear something drop, Connor yelling “ _ FUCK”  _ in the distance. Jared didn’t comment on it, but it earned a little laugh from Evan. Evan scrolled through whatever apps he could find on his phone. He wished Jared would talk to him- just put the game down and talk. 

When Evan was home, he didn’t mind when Jared played his games while they hung out. When he was done playing, the two would make out or just  _ do  _ something together. Now though, once he’s done playing he’s done the conversation as well. 

He didn’t know if it was intentional or not. Did Jared realize they went from actually talking every day during the first week he was gone, to only having two skype calls where neither of them spoke much at all during the third week?

If they kept at this pace, by Monday they won’t be talking at all. 

Evan didn’t want to drift apart like this from Jared. He didn’t want to feel like Jared didn’t care, but Jared wasn’t doing very good reassuring him. 

Then again, he hadn’t really spoken up much about it. 

“Do you uh… maybe want to put that away and talk?” Evan asked. He almost wished he had just stayed outside with Connor.  _ At least Connor talked to him _ . 

Jared glanced at him, and then back to his game. 

“Yeah sure! Just… just let me finish this cave, alright?” Jared asked. 

“Sure,” Evan said. Jared muttered something Evan didn’t catch and focused right back into his game. 

Evan picked at his sweater. He didn’t know what he wanted to do while he waited. He probably would just end up ending the call out of frustration pretty soon here. He had to remind himself that the world didn’t revolve around him. Jared has his own life he needed to live. It would be nice if he put away his game every now and then though. 

Maybe he should have just stayed out in the kitchen with Connor. Connor was interesting and liked Evan and wanted to talk to him. Jared clearly didn’t. Maybe he should have just taken his chance in the moment and kissed Connor. 

Out of boredom, he started reading one of his textbooks. At some point he started yawning. If Evan had known that Jared had _ just _ started the cave, he would have asked him if he could just turn the game off. That was kind of rude though, so he didn’t. 

 

At some point, Evan fell asleep. The conversation never started. Jared left the Skype on overnight though, Evan noticed as the call was going on for eight hours. He sighed softly as he watched the sleeping figure shift slightly. Jared’s lights were off- he could only make out his outline. Still, he looked so peaceful. It was around five am there. Evan knew he wouldn’t be up for a while. He didn’t have any classes on Fridays. 

With a heavy heart, Evan ended the call. 

 

**To Jared:** _ Hope you have a wonderful day!  _

 

Evan got off the bed, got dressed and left his room. He put a kettle on the stove and left for the bathroom. 

When he returned, Connor was leaning against the counter with two cups with tea bags in them. He smiled softly and went to hand Evan one, before switching and giving him the other one. 

“That’s the one made your way,” Connor said with a small nod. Evan raised an eyebrow and stirred the drink around. 

“You know how I-” 

“Kind of? I uh, hope I do anyways. You make it a lot,” Connor laughed. Evan smiled. 

“I like tea,” Evan said simply. “What are you doing… doing up?” 

Evan sat down on the couch and turned on the tv, Connor sitting beside him. 

“Mom called,” Connor said with a small shrug. 

“You don’t sound very excited,” Evan pointed out. Connor game a small half smile. 

“She wants to drive over and have lunch on Sunday… for some reason,” Connor said. “I uh- it’s the first time anyone’s contacted me so  _ clearly  _ something happened that she wants to tell me in person.” 

“It’s probably ‘kay,” Evan assured him. 

“Possibly,” Connor said. “How was your boyfriend?” 

“Wasn’t much of a conversation,” Evan said half heartedly. “I uh… he just played Skyrim the entire time… kinda wished I just… stayed with you.” Connor’s eyes lit up for a split second and Evan smiled softly. 

“Fucking rude much?” 

“ _ M-me?” _

“No! God no Evan.  _ Him _ ,” Connor corrected himself. 

Evan shrugged. 

“It’s nothing new…” Evan trailed off. “I’m beginning to wonder why I try.” 

“Why do you?” Connor asked.

_  ‘Cause he loved him. Because Jared made him happy, and he didn’t know where he would be if he didn’t have him in his life. Because sitting in silence while Jared happily plays his game was better than sitting in silence alone. _

Evan shrugged and turned on a cartoons channel. Connor didn’t question it, so Evan just left it. 

“I don’t wanna lose him,” Evan said flatly. “I don’t wanna lose anyone back home, I guess.” 

“That sucks,” Connor said. Evan nodded slowly. 

 

Evan fidgeted as he packed up his things. Class was long- his Friday class was probably his longest class. On the bright side, once they get passes the first few classes it was a more hands on type class. Evan was pretty sure anyways. He had no clue. 

“Hey, Stripe Boy,” a girl called. Evan ignored it, making his way out of the classroom. Some of these people were so loud. 

Evan got halfway to the door when someone tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around to see a girl just a bit shorter than him, dressed in sweats, a graphic t-shirt and a mustard yellow sweater with paint splatters all over. 

“You forgot this,” she said, handing Evan his phone. He blushed and took it.  _ Of course he managed to grab everything but his phone.  _

“Thanks,” he said. The two turned and walked out of the class together. 

“I'm Christine,” she said as she tied up her shoulder length brown hair in a ponytail. 

“Oh uh, Evan?” Evan said with a slight nod. 

“You don't sound so sure about your name,” she laughed. 

“Oh sorry! Yeah uh- yes my is Evan. I know my name-  _ of course I know my name _ ,” Evan said. She smiled. 

“Alright Evan,” she said. 

She glanced down a hall, looking as if she was about to turn, but instead she continued to follow Evan down towards Hell’s Kitchen. 

“You heading to Hell’s Kitchen ?” she asked. Evan nodded. 

“Yeah I uh, I live above it,” he said. 

“Nice, I'm down in  _ hotel nightmares _ ,” she said. “I regret it so much. Like- I thought eight girls to one four bedroom house would be fine, cause two bathrooms, a full kitchen, and a house instead of a small dorm- but  _ nope _ . It's a literal nightmare.” She laughed. “I can see why everyone’s nicknamed it that.” 

“They uh, got a bit lazy with Hell’s kitchen though… like uh, the food is actually pretty good,” Evan laughed. Christine nodded in agreement. 

“It’s almost like the students there got jealous of everywhere else getting a Gordon Ramsey show as a nickname and they needed to make one up too,” she joked. 

“You in a single or do you have roommates?” Christine asked, changing the subject.

“One roommate?” Evan said. 

“Is he tolerable?” Christine asked. Evan nodded. 

“Yeah uh- he’s pretty cool. I don’t know if he’s left the dorm yet though,” Evan laughed. That was kind of an exaggeration. Connor left… occasionally. For classes, and that one time he went grocery shopping with Evan instead of just texting him a list of things.

“He cute?” she asked. 

“Very,” Evan said without hesitation. “And very gay,” he added. Why, he didn’t know. It wasn’t like Christine needed to know that. She did want to know if he was cute though, without even knowing his name. Maybe Christine was looking for someone to go out with? And if she was, Evan wanted her to avoid Connor in  _ that  _ way. Connor was his. 

What was he  _ talking  _ about? Connor was  _ not  _ his. Jared was his- and even then it wasn’t like an ownership thing. They just, they belonged to each other. That was it. 

He was jealous of the  _ idea  _ that someone might be into his roommate and that was not good. 

The temptation to start rambling about Connor was bubbling up in Evan’s chest, but luckily Christine cut him off. 

“And that makes  _ you... _ ?”

“Bi?” Evan said.

“Nice!” she exclaimed.

“But with a boyfriend, who isn’t my roommate,” Evan said. She nodded casually.  

“Poor roommate,” she laughed lightly.

“I uh… not to be rude… but er-  _ why are you talking to me _ ?” Evan asked. They stopped walking and drifted against a wall, away from the crowd. She shrugged. 

“You looked lonely and fun to talk to. Plus I had to give you your phone,” she said. “Do you want me to leave?” 

“No! I uh, just… people don’t usually like to talk to me?” Evan said. Christine smiled and shook her head. 

“Not this girl,” she laughed. “I love talking to people. People are great.” 

Evan laughed awkwardly. He didn’t think people were that great. Sure, maybe having a few really close friends were nice and relieving and fun to be around, but in reality people just drained the life out of Evan. 

“Gimme your number, you seem like a smart person. I however, am not a smart person,” she said, holding out her hand. Evan laughed lightly as he dug his phone out of his pocket, before handing it to her. 

“I guess you could consider me smart but uh, I’m nothing compared to my friend back home… She-” 

“Do I know her?” Christine asked. 

“Well no,” Evan said. 

“Then there’s no need to compare yourself to her,” Christine said before she handed back his phone with a smile. 

“We’ll talk, yeah? Maybe get coffee?” Christine said. 

“Yeah sure… I’ll… see you around,” he said with a small nod and a laugh. Christine waved as she walked away, before she disappeared into the crowd of people heading in the opposite direction. 

He liked Christine- she seemed nice. Whether or not Evan would ever talk to her again, he had no idea. She seemed like the type that might try and start more conversations with Evan down the road, but he had no idea. 

As he walked up the cement stairs to his dorm, he sent Christine a quick text with much preparation ( _ Hi Christine, this is Evan just giving a text so you have my number. See you! _ ) He was cringing already about his phrasing but there was nothing more he could do. That was okay. That was fine. 

Connor was in the shower when Evan got home. Evan debated knocking on the bathroom door and letting him know he was back, but really he didn’t need to do that. 

His phone buzzed, and Evan looked at it expecting Christine to have replied, but instead was kind of surprised to see that Jared was texting him. 

How sad- he was  _ surprised  _ when his boyfriend texted him first. 

 

**From Jared:** _ Hey _

**From Jared:** _ Sorry bout last night  totally fell asleep on you  wanna skype tonight? No skyrim this time?  _

 

Evan hesitated. That would be nice. Whether or not he was actually going to get a conversation with Jared this time around, Evan had no clue. He didn’t know if he wanted to find out. Maybe just hanging out with Connor was a better option. He didn’t know what they could do, but at least then he’d get acknowledged. 

 

 **To Jared:** _We’ll see… I don’t know, I have some work to do._

 

**From Jared** _ : If I were there you’d let me sit around in your room while yo worked. God i hate long dinsteance relationships os much  _

 

 **To Jared:** _What’s that supposed to mean?_

 

**From Jared:** _ I just miss you  not like I would actually break uo with you  dont worry babe _

**From Jared:** _ ur worth the long distance  _

 

**To Jared:** _ But not worth correct spelling of words?  _

 

**From Jared:** _ oh shh  _

**From Jared:** _ lemme know okay? Bout tonight? _

 

Evan smiled softly as he put his phone away. He loved that boy so much it was stupid. He was all bitter earlier and the past week but he loved him. So much. 

Sure, Connor was attractive but he was happy with Jared- however hard long distance already was. Just cause Christine thought Evan was into Connor, and Evan knew Connor was into him didn’t mean that it had to go anywhere. It wouldn’t go anywhere. Evan was going to be fine. Jared and Evan were going to be fine. 

Everything will be-

“Didn’t hear you get in,” Connor said as he sat down next to Evan, his hair still dripping wet but thankfully fully clothed. Evan shrugged. 

“Yeah uh, just did,” Evan said. Connor smiled and shifted to face Evan, which Evan mimicked. 

Connor rested his elbow on the back of the couch, and then his head in his hand. Evan was silently hoping that maybe he’d want to do something, like watching a movie and doing some platonic cuddling or something. 

_ God he was so touch starved it was pathetic _ . 

“You’ve got nice eyes,” Connor commented. “It’s a shame you’re not letting me see them.” 

“Yeah we’ll I’ve got a boyfriend,” Evan reminded him. “It’s a shame that he’s holding me back,” he joked, laughing lightly. 

“Do you want to let him do that?” Connor asked. 

“Yeah… I uh, I love him a lot,” Evan said with a small smile as he looked down at the ground. 

“Well, as long as you’re happy,” Connor said as he got up off the couch. 

“Yeah,” Evan said with a small nod.

 

**To Jared:** _ Yeah I’m free tonight to skype.  _

  
  



	5. Chapter 5

Evan hummed softly as he brought a cup of tea and a bag of pre popped popcorn back into his room, before settling on his bed. He still had a few more minutes to kill before Jared was supposed to start a Skype call. Realistically, Evan could probably start the call now and Jared would pick up. Last Evan texted him, he said he was just finishing up some coding and then he’d get the movie set up so they could screen share, so chances were he was already sitting wherever he planned on sitting with his laptop ready. 

That didn’t mean Evan was going to start the call. He’d wait until Jared started it. Admittedly, he still needed time to prepare himself to talk to him. 

Again, when Jared and he skyped Evan was kind of just ignored, which really was starting to get on his nerves. All he wanted was to have his boyfriend back, cuddling and kissing and paying attention to him. Apparently that was too much to ask though. Now it was nearly late October and nothing better had happened. Jared was still rocky with conversations and Evan felt as disconnected as ever. 

Hopefully he’d be able to reconnect with him over a stupid movie date.

He sighed as the notification came up, and he started the call with Jared. He smiled as Jared’s face lagged a bit as it connected, before he cleared up. He looked the same- of course he did, he was just Jared, but  _ wow _ it was good to see him. 

“Hey Acorn,” Jared said, quickly typing on his phone before tossing it over his computer. Evan shifted closer to the corner of his bed and smiled. 

“Hey,” he said shortly, before picking at the skin around his nails. A sudden wave of nervousness washing over him. It was stupid- it was just Jared! He was so normal with Jared, because Jared knew him best out of anyone. However, he didn’t know whether or not this date was actually going to work out or not.

“You okay?” Jared asked. Evan chipped up, smiling briefly before nodding. 

“Yeah just-”

“Rough week?” Jared asked. Evan laughed lightly and nodded. 

“Something like that,” he replied. “I really miss you.”

“It’ll get better,” Jared said. Evan resisted rolling his eyes and scoffing because  _ that’s what everyone said  _ about everything in his life and sure, it did, but it was quick to once again fall down. Sure, usually it picked back up again, but that didn’t matter. In the moment it sucked and boy did it suck hard. 

“It always does,” Evan chimed in. He looked down at his hands and didn’t catch whatever reaction Jared had given. Still, he looked up and smiled at him. 

“And hey- I’m coming down in two weeks,” Jared reminded him.

Evan smiled. That was right, and he loved that. 

Small talk came and went and soon enough Jared had started whatever movie he picked. It was one of the Avengers one, heaven knew Evan didn’t know which one, they all looked the same to him. It made Jared happy though, and that made Evan happy. 

Evan really had no clue what was going on in the film. Hot, attractive men were talking. Some evil guy showed up, attacked this big tower and left. Then, hot attractive men  _ and  _ women started theorizing stuff. Jared was rambling over the movie, explaining everything to Evan as he happened but it was slowly just becoming white noise in the background. This was what happened every time Jared picked the movie. 

The effects were cool, Evan had to admit that. The CGI was really good, granted the movie had only come out in 2012, so it was newer than he thought they were. Admittedly, Evan thought that majority of avenger movies came out in the early  _ early  _ 2000s. 

Apparently not though. None of them were  _ that  _ old. Jared sure talked about them as if they were that old, talking about the technology that they had in the time. Yeah, the technology from  _ six years ago _ . 

Evan loved Jared, he really did. He would never say that sometimes Jared geeked out about things like this too much and he would never tell him that he didn’t care. However, Jared tended to go on broken record rants about things Evan had already been told about many times. Evan did the same thing with stuff he was passionate with too though, so he kind of understood. Jared never told him off, so he wouldn’t tell Jared off. 

Even when he was talking over the movie while Evan was trying to listen to the actual plot. 

Evan found himself starting to fall asleep about halfway through. He really had no clue what was going on, and Jared had slowed in his talking. Slowly, he was sinking down to a lying down position. Then. he put his laptop on his bedside table and rolled over onto his side to watch it. Next thing he knew his eyes were slowly drifting shut, and he was falling asleep. 

The next thing he knew, he was jolted awake once more by a loud crash. He sat up quickly, before looking around frantically, only to realize that the sound came through his earbuds. 

He put his earbuds back in before clearing his throat. 

“What was that?” he asked hoarsely, before he cleared his throat. He took his laptop and put it back on his lap. Jared was sitting there, arms crossed and slouched against his bed frame. 

“Me waking you up?” Jared said. Evan furrowed his eyebrows. 

“And?” 

“I was yelling at you to wake up,” Jared said simply. 

“Did you need to do that in the first place though?”

“Well I thought we were doing a date,” Jared said coldly. “Last time I checked, we don’t typically fall asleep on dates.”

Evan blinked. Was he… really being serious right now? He was about to shit on Evan for falling asleep while watching a movie- which would have been fine if they were in the same room, because then they’d just be cuddling while he was sleeping- while Jared was  _ constantly _ ignoring him on their skype calls with his games. 

“I didn’t mean to Jare, schools just been… draining,” Evan said, sitting up a bit straighter and trying to get a bit more comfortable in his position, suddenly very uncomfortable in his own skin. 

“We could have just rescheduled if you were  _ that  _ tired,” Jared pointed out. Evan shook his head. 

“No, I didn’t think I was tired enough to fall asleep,” Evan said simply, looking down at his hands. He didn’t think it was that big of a deal? He just… fell asleep. Nothing horrible about that. Jared maybe rolled his eyes, Evan couldn’t tell through the laptop camera. 

“Was it the movie?” Jared asked. Evan sighed heavily. 

“No, no of course not,” Evan said, exasperated. “Sometimes people just fall asleep, okay?” 

“Well it’s been fun Ev, I’ll text you later,” Jared said coldly. Then, before Evan could even  _ process  _ what he said, Jared ended the call. Evan stared blankly at the screen, unsure how he should even react. 

That was uncalled for, Evan thought. It was really  _ really  _ uncalled for. He didn’t know what Jared’s day had actually been, if it was good or bad, but he didn’t really need to take it out on Evan. 

Or maybe he did- he did fall asleep, didn’t he? No. No Jared shouldn’t be so pissed off at Evan. Maybe if he just started talking to Evan, instead of ignoring every time Evan tries to start a conversation or ask how his day was, Evan could get where he was coming from. 

Because he really didn’t. Not right now, anyways. The entire month had been like this. 

Evan sighed as he shut off his laptop and put it to the side, before he left his room. He grabbed the closest hoodie he could, purposely avoiding Jared’s grad hoodie. 

He hesitantly left his room, shutting his bedroom door quietly behind him. It wasn’t all that late- maybe just passed eleven, but he didn’t know if Connor was sleeping or not. From experience, he knew that noise traveled throughout the entire dorm. He didn’t know what Connor’s sleeping schedule was like, so just to be respectful, he’d stay quiet. 

Evan grabbed an apple and a can of juice, before he sat down on the couch. He turned on the tv, quickly turned the volume down on it and then picked a random channel to watch. He curled up in the corner of the couch and then absently started eating the apple, which upon first bite, he decided he really didn’t want it. 

Behind him, Connor’s door creaked open, and next thing he knew Connor was sitting down next to him. 

“Thought you were having a date,” Connor said. He looked tired, and was wearing his sweatpants he referred to as his “painting pants.” His hair was tied up, and by the looks of it he had one of his earbuds in. 

Evan shrugged, watching Connor as he sat down on the couch next to him, and then took out his earbud. 

“Went a little wrong,” Evan admitted. Connor raised an eyebrow, and Evan shook his head quickly. 

“I just uh, fell asleep? And Jared found it a bit rude,” Evan explained. “Got a bit pissy… I can see where he was coming from with the whole thing.”

“So you two fought?” Connor asked. Evan hesitated. 

“No… I don’t think so,” Evan said. “We just, he just told me that next time we should make sure to schedule the date when I’m not super tired and stuff.”

“Oh,” Connor said shortly. “That’s still kinda rude.”

“That’s what I was thinking,” Evan said quickly. Connor raised an eyebrow. 

“Good,” Connor said hesitantly. “Just, don’t let him push you around or anything, yeah?”

“Of course,” Evan said with a nod. “Listen he… probably just had a rough day. His classes are really demanding and stuff and I bet the whole long distance is really hard-  _ I know it is for me _ , and I’m sure it’ll all get so much better once we see each other again and can just reconnect and talk in person.”

“When are you seeing him?” Connor asked. 

“Fall break… he’s coming down, but don’t worry- we won’t be around the dorm or anything like that,” Evan said. “We’ll get outta your hair or something.”

“It’s fine Ev...an,” Connor said, dragging out the middle of his name. “I’m back home that weekend anyways. Don’t waste money on a hotel or anything- unless you want to of course.”

They both laughed. It was thick with awkward tension. Then they went quiet, and Evan turned back to the television, while Connor focused in on his phone. The quiet wasn’t fun. Evan still didn’t know if Connor was interested in him at all- he had been up until Evan told him about Jared. A part of him really hoped he was. He liked the idea of Connor still wanting to kiss him, and flirt with him and just be all romantic with him even though he was dating Jared. 

He was glad Connor had backed off once he found out, but he really wished he hadn’t. Part of him was tempted just to ditch everything back home and start doing stuff with Connor instead. Between him and… well, himself, he really didn’t think- with the way things were going, that their long distance thing would survive much longer. 

He wanted it to! Evan would never in a million years wish away his relationship, but there was just this sinking feeling in his chest. A gut feeling that what he had wouldn’t last much longer now. And that scared him- it scared him so so much and he hated that. 

“Tell me about him,” Connor said. Evan snapped out of his trance and looked over to Connor. He raised an eyebrow, trying to figure out who  _ him  _ was. Then, right as Connor was about to speak again, Evan realized and he quickly cut him off. 

“Jared?” Evan asked. Connor nodded. 

“Assuming that’s his name,” Connor said with a small laugh. 

“It is,” Evan said. “Well uh, he’s a big nerd? Like, he likes star wars and marvel and all that stuff… We’re really complete opposites when you really get to know both of us. He’s kind though- and sweet most the time… but he can kind of be an asshole to people without realizing it? Not me, but sometimes he’ll just make a comment or something about someone and won’t realize it’s not a nice comment. He usually catches himself though? And uh, he remembers anything you tell him… and he’s so sweet and he always goes out of the way to make me feel loved and is just… really awesome, I guess,” Evan rambled, smiling to himself as he spoke about him. 

He missed Jared so much. Nothing he told Connor could do Jared justice. He was just… so amazing. 

“We’ve been dating for… two years now? And uh, our mom’s have been friends since they were in college, so naturally we grew up around each other. It was a running joke for a long time that I would actually end up with his sister… So imagine their surprises when Jared and I came out to them,” Evan said with a small laugh. “No one cared really. They just started planning out wedding.” That earned a small laugh from Connor. 

“So you two are like… pretty serious?” Connor asked. Evan hesitated, before he shrugged. 

“Well I guess you could say that?” he replied. “We’re as serious as two eighteen year olds can be really.”

Connor nodded slowly, and the silence came back once more. Connor got up and grabbed a Coke from the fridge, and then returned and switched the channel from the news to some sitcom. Evan thought it was maybe How I Met Your Mother, or maybe The Big Bang Theory? He really couldn’t tell the difference between those shows. 

“Two years though, that’s a long time,” Connor said with a small laugh. Evan joined in too, and just kind of shrugged. 

“Well- we actually broke up for about a month. It was like- the month that would have been our one year anniversary? So- two years yeah, but there was a short break in there,” Evan said with a small slow nod. 

“Why’d you break up?” he asked. “And why bother getting back together?”

Evan hesitated. 

“Well… It was just a big like, misunderstanding?” Evan said with a small laugh. “He uh- I wasn’t doing very well, mentally, and I needed space and stuff… So I cut it off cause I was too afraid to talk about it? And then a month later we talked it out and got back together and it was all okay then… And I guess we got back together cause like, it wasn’t a messy break up to begin with? I just… needed less stress.”

That was a lie. Jared cheated on him- a one night thing with some dude from some party he went to that Evan didn’t want to go to at all. Jared told him a week later, and then Evan was really hurt. So he broke up with him, and then they talked and Jared swore it was a one time thing and it didn’t even go very far. So what he told Connor wasn’t a complete lie, since Evan  _ wasn’t  _ doing well mentally, because his boyfriend had cheated on him, and he broke it off and then he talked. He just… left out the gritty details. Jared probably sounded like a big enough asshole to Connor, and he wasn’t. Jared was a really good guy and they were only sixteen and stupid teenagers. 

“Oh.” 

Connor went quiet again, so Evan happily took the silence as well. 

His mom texted him while they were sitting there to explain that Rob’s daughters were moving in with them for a while. Then she let Evan know that they were going to give Emily his room. He didn’t like that idea- it was  _ his  _ room, but he kind of understood the situation. So, he just asked that they pack up all his things and put them in the basement guest room. He’d unpack everything when he came home for winter break. 

Evan sighed as he looked between his phone and Connor. Then, he cleared his throat and spoke up. He didn’t like the silence. 

“Have you ever dated someone?” Evan asked. 

“No,” Connor said flatly, without hesitation and without looking up from his phone. 

“Really?” Evan asked. “I mean… you’re really attractive.” Was that too weird to say? It was just an observation, anyways. 

Connor let out a hoarse laugh and shook his head. 

“I was dubbed  _ the school shooter kid _ in Highschool. No- not because I actually did that shit, cause that’s fucked up, but because I had-  _ have  _ anger issues. Didn’t have friends and was a stoner,” he explained. There was humor in his voice, but also annoyance… and maybe even a bit of bitterness? Evan really didn’t know- but it wasn’t a happy voice. 

“Oh,” Evan said, furrowing his eyebrows as he looked down at his hands. “That’s… not nice.”

“No not really,” Connor said. “But I mean, I wore nothing but black, smelt like pot twenty four seven and maybe tried to kill myself two times a year,” he said bluntly, as if that was just stuff you said every other day. “I know why they all thought that.”

“Oh.”

“Yup.”

“That…”

“Yeah, yeah I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I blinked and I caught up to where I have currently written... So we'll see if I can keep with the weekly updates, haha!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh don't think theres any like. Warnings. Some implied smut, but I didn't write any of it. Like at all. I do a time skip cause I'm not the most comfortable about writing that kind of stuff so uh,

Evan fidgeted with his sweater as he sat on his bed, staring blankly at his computer screen as he chewed on his lower lip. It was bleeding, Evan could taste the light coppery mixture diluted with saliva, but he just couldn’t stop. He had four more hours until he had to go to the airport to pick up Jared, and he hated waiting. 

He was nervous. God he was so nervous. Which, he shouldn’t be. They had had a good week and a half together over Skype, and they actually talked with each other (Connor later told Evan that  _ you two are sound so sickly sweet and I can only hear your half of the conversation _ ). They even maybe had a few little  _ nsfw  _ calls while Connor hadn’t been in the dorm. That was something they hadn’t done since Evan had been back home. Which again, was nice and oddly reassuring in a way. 

So they were fine- and he was looking forward to seeing Jared and Jared was looking forward to seeing him. He just… really hoped that nothing would  _ feel  _ different between the two. 

There was a soft knock on the doorframe. Evan smiled up at Connor, who frowned as he walked in and moved Evan’s laptop so he could sit next to him. Then, he reached up and wiped a bit of blood away from Evan’s chin. He sighed, before he got up and returned with a warm cloth. Wordlessly, he wiped the blood away and then had Evan hold it to his lip. 

Things had been kinda weird between the two. Connor and Evan, that was. Evan really couldn’t describe it, but it was just tension. Like Connor knew something Evan didn’t and he was hiding it from Evan. 

“My parents should be here to pick me up in like, twenty minutes,” Connor said. Evan nodded slowly and handed him back the cloth. Connor took it and then just ended up putting it on Evan’s desk. 

“You don’t sound excited,” Evan said with a small laugh. Connor smiled softly and shook his head. He moved to sit against Evan’s wall, and then Evan folded up his legs against himself. 

“I really am not,” Connor said as he closed his eyes. “It’s just been a good few months- you know? Like, you and I never fought… and all my parents and I do is fight,” he explained, opening his eyes again as he looked at Evan. “I don’t want to go back to that.”

Evan nodded. He didn’t really understand what Connor was saying. Well, he did, but he just really didn’t know how to reply. He reached out and took Connor’s hand and gave it a small squeeze. He squeezed back and then the two went quiet, just holding eachothers hands as Connor looked at his phone and Evan looked at Connor. 

“You picking up the boyfriend today?” Connor asked. He rarely called him Jared- and Evan didn’t know if it was because he didn’t like Jared,  _ the boyfriend  _ was just funner to say, or if he just didn’t remember his name. Evan wanted to say it was number two, but he was pretty sure it might be number three. 

“Yeah! Yeah his plane gets in at six,” Evan said with a small nod. 

“So I’ll be long gone,” Connor said. Evan nodded again and started gnawing on his lip again. 

“Did you want to meet him?” Evan asked. Connor snorted. 

“God no,” he said. Then he froze, took his hand away and look at Evan. “Not in like, a rude shitty way. I just don’t want to meet this guy that is dating the guy I kinda like.” 

Evan nodded slowly and went quiet, bringing both his arms around his knees. 

Well, at least that answered the question that had been lingering in the back of Evan’s mind for a while now. He didn’t know what to do with that information. Just… ignore it, Evan guessed. He had a boyfriend, and despite what he had been thinking a few weeks ago, he wasn’t about to go out and cheat on him. 

Evan cleared his throat and Connor glanced at him, before he got off of Evan’s bed. His phone buzzed and Connor frowned, before looking down at it. 

“I guess I’ll see you after the break then,” Connor said stiffly. Evan nodded slowly. 

“Have a safe ride back,” Evan said weakly. Connor forced a small smile and a nod, before he walked out of his room. Evan debated if he should follow Connor outside, or at least to do the door, but he remained sitting on his bed. 

It was probably better for Evan just to ignore him anyways. Well, not ignore, but just to let him do his own things. Connor could probably carry himself just fine. Just like Evan could. 

He waited for the front door to shut before Evan got up off his bed and went to the living room. 

He wasted the time away by just watching television. Evan hated waiting. He hated just sitting around waiting. Jared’s plane probably hadn’t even taken off yet, which was the worst. All he wanted to do was just fast forward a few hours and just have Jared in his arms. 

That was apparently too much to ask though, as he idly sat, watching the digital clock tick away slowly. The show he was watching (he didn’t know the name, but Connor watched it a lot) seemed never ending. He didn’t even get what was going on in the show, probably since he had tuned in halfway through the fifth season. 

His phone buzzed, and Evan quickly took out his phone. He smiled at the text message, despite it being from Connor (he had been hoping for something from Jared) and typed out a quick reply. At least he could serve as a mini distraction. 

 

**From Connor:** _ Not an hour in and the hells begun :)  _

 

**To Connor:** _ They can’t be that bad…  _

 

Evan didn’t know Connor’s family. He only had ever heard them talking when Connor first moved in. Sure, that hadn’t been that good of a conversation by the sounds of it, but Evan wanted to give his family the benefit of the doubt. Families could go through rough patches but well, they were family either way. 

From what Evan could recall too, Connor wasn’t being the nicest to them at the time. 

Eventually, Evan could finally justify leaving to drive out to the airport. He nervously drummed on the steering wheel every time he was stopped by a red light. It wasn’t like he was  _ nervous  _ to see Jared but-

No. That was a lie. Evan was horrified. He was horrified that Jared would see him and realize that all Evan was was a waste of his time once he spent the weekend with him. It was a stupid thought, since Jared loved him. They’ve been dating for two years without a single problem. Well, almost no problems anyways. 

Evan chewed on his nails as he waited at a train. 

Two and a half months was a long time though. Feelings could change. Jared could find his physical presence depressing now. Or he could have had a taste of life without Evan- something he hadn’t had since they were  _ really  _ young kids. He could have realized how horrible Evan was and  _ god  _ he could just look at Evan and decide he never wanted to see him again. 

His thinking was stupid. He knew it was stupid, but he couldn’t ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach that something this trip was going to go horribly bad and Jared wouldn’t love him anymore and at that point Evan didn’t even know what he would do. He’d be alone, that was for certain, but he didn’t want that. 

It was hard enough to have a long distance relationship. Evan thought that no relationship would be a thousand times harder though. 

He was shaking as he walked into the luggage area of the airport. Jared probably didn’t have a bag since it was such a short trip. Still, he sat down on one of the weird chairs and waited nervously. 

Evan found himself staring at a couple until the woman looked over at him and caught him staring. He ducked his head down, focusing in on a game of solitaire on his phone instead of looking around. He really liked the man’s shirt- that was all he was looking at, but he had no clue what it looked like to the woman. 

The noise swelled around him as a crowd of people walked passed towards the luggage conveyor belt thingy. Evan glanced up before taking a deep breath and shutting his phone off. Jared had to be in the crowd somewhere. He just didn’t know where. 

Hesitantly, he stood up and adjusted his stance. He couldn’t see him anywhere, and really didn’t want to go searching through the crowd, so he stood and waited for Jared to find him. He hoped Jared could find him. 

He hoped Jared remembered to get on the plane. He knew that changes were Jared did- he wasn’t an idiot, but well, he was kind of an idiot. He was Evan’s idiot. 

And Evan was his. 

Suddenly, a set of arms snaked themselves around Evan’s waist tightly. He jumped, naturally pushing the arms away from him before he turned around. 

Evan’s tense body instantly relaxed as he made eye contact with Jared, who was smiling brightly and holding back his laughter. Evan lowered his hand, which he hadn’t realized he had raised to slap the other before quickly wrapping his arms around Jared. That was got Jared to finally laugh out loud. 

“Good to see you too Acorn,” he said playfully. Evan pulled back just far enough and cupped his cheeks, before kissing him softly, as if it was something they still just did every day. Had they not been in such a crowded place, Evan would have kissed him much more passionately, but he hated drawing attention to himself. Jared knew that. 

“I missed you,” Evan said softly, bringing him in close again for another hug. Jared hummed and hugged him back. He still smelt the same- but of course he did. They had only been away from each other for three months. If that. It felt like so much longer. 

So  _ so  _ much longer now that he was standing in front of him. 

“I missed you too,” he replied. “Now uh, hate to break this  _ wonderful _ hug, but this backpack is heavy and I am in desperate need of a shower,” Jared laughed. Evan felt the heat rise to his cheeks as he pulled away, before nodding with a small “ _ right, right.” _

Evan lead Jared back to his car, before letting him toss his things into the trunk of it. Then, he rounded around and sat down in the passenger side. 

Evan started up the car, and then turned to ask Jared a question, only to be immediately interrupted by Jared kissing him, this time a lot more passionate, and a bit more sloppy. 

But Evan didn’t complain, because he had been waiting for that. 

Evan kissed back, cupping his jaw with his hand as he deeped it, before he pulled away with a soft smile. Jared smiled back, and then leaned in to kiss him one more, this time a lot more abrupt. 

“I missed that,” Jared said. Evan nodded in agreement. “So much.”

“You live too far away,” Evan laughed lightly. Jared scoffed and rolled his eyes. 

“You’re the one who chose to go off to some fancy school across the country,” Jared pointed out. Evan shrugged and leaned in to kiss him again. 

“I like it here. Besides the lack of people I love… my classes are… good?” Evan said. Jared laughed lightly. 

“You sound  _ very  _ convincing,” he said sarcastically. Evan laughed and shrugged. 

“I try!” 

He pulled out of the parking spot, and started back towards his dorm building. Their plan was to just rent out a little hotel room, which Jared had booked. They debated just staying in Evan’s dorm to save money that neither of them really had, but Evan’s bed was so small that he fell out of it half the time, so realistically, that wouldn’t be such a good idea. 

The only thing nice about Evan’s dorm was that they’d had a kitchen, but chances were the two were just going to want to eat out anyways. If they really were desperate, Evan would have his keys and apparently the place wasn’t that far away from the dorm building to begin with. 

Still, he brought Jared over there anyways so Evan could grab his things. He could have just taken them when he picked Jared up, but Evan hadn’t thought that far ahead. 

Jared didn’t seem to complain though, as Evan brought him up to his little dorm room. Evan sighed lightly as he unlocked the door, and then shut it behind Jared. 

Jared grinned, gazing around momentarily before turning back to Evan and kissing him again. Evan chuckled against his lips and kissed back, drinking in every sweet second of it as Jared slowly backed him against the wall. Evan played with the collar of his shirt, before he pulled away just far enough that their noses just brushed together. 

“Maybe we should wait until…” Evan trailed off. “Bed’s not the best here,” he pointed out with a small laugh. Jared sighed softly, his eyes buzzing around Evan’s face as if his face was one he had never seen that close up before. 

“It’s up to you Ev,” Jared pointed out. “Isn’t this place pretty deserted though?”

Evan bit his lip. “I could uh- I don’t have anything,” he said. Jared laughed lightly and kissed him. 

“Think I didn’t think about that?” Jared asked. Evan grinned stupidly as he wrapped his arms around his neck, before kissing him roughly. 

“This a yes then?” Jared asked. Evan nodded, before they reconnected their lips, both of them eventually landing on the beat up Leather couch with Evan laying underneath Jared, holding him as if he was about to disappear any second. 

 

Evan rested his head against the armrest of the couch, smiling like an idiot as Jared placed lazily kisses on his neck. Evan absently played with his hair until he sighed loudly, resting his head on Evan’s shoulder. 

“I missed you,” Jared said softly. Evan smiled. 

“You missed me? Or uh, you missed  _ that? _ ” Evan asked jokingly. Jared paused, pretending to consider his options before he grinned and looked up at Evan. 

“For sure you,” Jared said. “However, sex is a wonderful added bonus.” 

Evan rolled his eyes and kissed him. Jared kissed back, before he pushed off his chest and sat up. 

“As much as I hate to break this lovely moment… the hotel needs us checked in by eight thirty,” Jared said with a small sigh. 

“We should both shower though,” Evan pointed out. Jared nodded slowly. 

“Right gotta be looking sharp to check into a hotel room,” Jared said sarcastically. 

“ _ You  _ smell like sex and stale plane air already,” Evan pointed out. Jared opened his mouth to speak, but Evan shut him up by kissing him lightly. 

“Shower Jared,” Evan said. Jared sighed dramatically before he got off the couch.

“Fine but you're coming with me,” he said. Jared held out his hand and Evan took it as he got up. They kissed again, short and sweet, before Evan took him just down the hall. 

Evan stepped into the smaller shower first, adjusting the water temperature before he let Jared step inside. 

It was tight, but doable. Nothing attractive at all about Evan trying to use the soap to wash himself off while Jared stood under the water. 

At least the water pressure was decent. It was a lot better than it normally would be, which likely was because no one was really around in their tower. As far as Evan knew, anyways. 

Evan smiled as he lathered up shampoo in his hands, letting it get as foamy as it would before he turned around and lathered it into Jared's hair, before wiping away suds from his cheek. Jared grinned, and Evan lightly switched their spots so Jares could just rinse off. 

“You know you-” 

“Shh,” Evan said softly. “You’ll get bubbles in your mouth.”

Jared just rolled his eyes and then rinsed out his hair, before lathering up the soap in his hands and casually smearing the few bubbles he had managed to get onto Evan’s cheek. He grinned and rolled his eyes, before rinsing it off quickly with the water. 

“ _ That-” _

“Shh,” Jared cut him off. “You’ll get bubbles in your mouth,” he mocked, echoing Evan’s words.  “They’re still there,” he said with a small smile as he wiped them away. 

“Yeah I know I can feel them there,” Evan said. Jared grinned as he rested his hands on Evan’s shoulders. 

“Well they’re gone now,” Jared said, before he leaned in closer at an unusually slow pace, before kissing him softly. Evan kissed back, tugging him just a bit closer as he deepened it. 

It felt so good, so  _ natural  _ just to be kissing him again at the most random times. It was home- Jared was his home and everything just felt so right. He only wished Jared was here longer than three days. 


	7. Chapter 7

Despite everything they’ve done, if you asked Evan what his favourite thing to do with Jared was, without hesitation, he would tell you cooking. Neither of them were all that good of chefs, and neither of them could cook without a recipe in front of them, but it was fun. Maybe it was the whole idea of just  _ being  _ with him that made cooking that much more enjoyable in the moment, because Evan was having the time of his life just making scrambled eggs and pancakes with him. 

“Alright. I’m going to flip this now. Ready?” Jared asked as he stepped away from the stove, the pan held steady with the pancake inside it. Evan laughed, shaking his head lightly as he continued to move the scrambled eggs around. 

“If you say so,” he replied, looking at the eggs for just a second before he turned his attention back to Jared. 

He focused his attention, shaking the pan just a bit, before he adjusted the pancake. Jared counted down under his breath, before he flipped the pancake. It got caught on the edge of the pan, drooping over like a soggy piece of paper. 

Jared smiled, pushing the pancake back onto the rest of the pan before he returned it to the stove. 

“Told you I could do it,” he said playfully, giving Evan a little hip bump before he leaned against the counter. 

“Didn’t doubt you for a second,” Evan said. Jared grinned, before he leaned in and kissed him quickly. 

“I seriously doubt that but if you say so,” Jared laughed. Evan shrugged, before he grabbed two plates and started splitting the eggs onto both of them. Jared finished off the pancakes while Evan put away the ingredients he used, and then quickly set the things on coffee table- the closest excuse to a kitchen table.

“You know if I knew where everything was I’d help more, right?” Jared asked. Evan smiled. 

“I know. Doesn’t mean you have to.” 

Jared put pancakes on each of their plates before he settled down on the floor with Evan sitting beside him. They both let themselves drift into a comfortable silence as they watched tv. Occasionally, Jared would nudge him lightly and feed Evan bits of his own breakfast, despite the fact that the two of them were eating the exact same meal. It made Evan smile though, which really, was the only thing that either of them cared about. 

Once Evan had finished, he rested his head on Jared’s shoulders and sighed softly, waiting on Jared to finish his breakfast. He was mostly just savouring the morning, because Jared’s flight was leaving at four, which meant that he only had another five hours before he had to drop him off at the airport. The weekend had gone by  _ way  _ too fast for Evan’s liking, and he wasn’t ready to go back to wordless skype calls and short, mostly two worded text conversations twice a week. 

“I think I’m gonna come back home next year,” Evan said quietly, closing his eyes as he hummed softly. 

“No you’re not,” Jared said quickly. “You wanted to be here. There’s a reason you applied, and there’s a reason why you were so excited when you got accepted.”

“I know but…” Evan picked up his head so he could turn to look at Jared properly. 

“I miss stuff like this. Like us, all the time… you know? A-and, really, I mean, what’s here that  _ isn’t  _ back home?” Evan said. “I mean… my rooms so much bigger back home, and it’s cheaper.  _ You’re  _ there.” He shrugged casually. “I feel like… it just makes sense, you know?”

Jared rolled his eyes. 

“Ev… It’s a four year program. Do it, stay here, and then you can come home and we can literally get joined to the hip if you want to,” Jared joked, earning a small laugh out of Evan. 

“But it’s been three months since I got here and I’m already ready to go home,” Evan said. 

“You’ve been making friends, right?” Jared asked. Evan hesitated. 

“I mean… I got Connor I guess. We talk,” Evan said. “Kinda have to since we’re roommates… and there’s this girl, but we only really talk in class together. So I don’t know if you can call that a friend.” Evan bit his lip and gnawed on it lightly. Jared quickly brushed his thumb against his chin, getting him to stop it. Evan gave him a small smile, before Jared leaned in and kissed him. 

“It’ll get better you know,” Jared said. “Couple more months and we’ll get used to it and into the proper swing of things.” 

Evan forced a small smile before he hugged him tightly. 

“It’s just hard,” he said with a small sigh. “I miss you, and mom and  _ everyone  _ really. I just wanna be able to see all of you regularly.” 

“I know, I know. We all miss you too,” Jared said with a light laugh. “But you’re at your dream school, studying trees and all that shit.” He laughed a bit more. “None of us are going anywhere while you’re here Evan.” 

“Yeah but I am.”

 

Eventually, the two managed to steer away from the topic of Evan going to a school that’s so far away. It took a bit longer than Jared wanted to, Evan pretended that he hadn’t heard the annoyance in his voice once Jared finally shut him down with a harsh statement of “you’re staying. You’ve already started so you need to finish it.”

Evan decided shortly after that that he didn’t feel like spending the rest of the day just lounging around his dorm room. So, once the two had gotten ready, Evan took him for a short tour around the campus. He wasn’t all that familiar with anything outside of the buildings and classrooms that he attended, so it was a lot shorter than he thought it would be. 

“My friend works at this Second Cup,” Evan said with a small nod as the two of them crossed the street, making their way to the previously mentioned coffee shop. “I think she’s working a shift right now… but I could be wrong.”

“Sounds fun,” Jared said, mostly disinterested. Evan gave a small sigh, before he lead the way up the path and into the coffee shop. Sure enough, Christine was standing at the counter, currently taking an old ladies order. 

They had to wait in line, but Christine had noticed Evan almost right away and gave him a small smile. Evan waved quickly with the hand that wasn’t currently being held by Jared, before he dropped it into his pocket. 

“Hey Evan,” Christine said happily. Evan pulled his hand away from Jared’s as they approached, tucking both of them into his pocket. 

“Hi. Uh, this is my boyfriend. The one visiting this weekend,” Evan said, gesturing quickly to Jared who gave a small smile. 

“Right, ‘cause all your other boyfriends are busy this weekend,” Christine joked. Evan laughed awkwardly, but he loosened up quickly once he noticed Jared was laughing too. 

“Jared, right?” Christine asked. 

“Yeah. I have no clue what your name is,” Jared said as he shook her head. She laughed, before tapping her name tag. 

“Christine. Guess Evan doesn’t talk about his  _ best friend _ all that often, does he?” she teased. 

“You must not have many friends if  _ I’m  _ your best friend,” Evan said. She rolled her eyes playfully. 

“As far as I’m concerned, everyone might as well be my best friend,” Christine said. “Alright so I know what Evan wants, what about you, Jared?” 

Evan glanced behind him. The line was building up a bit and with Christine being the only person on the till at the time, Evan could understand why she had to cut the conversation short. Jared ordered, and then Evan paid, before the two went over to the counter to wait for their drinks to be finished. 

“You come here often enough that she knows what you get?” Jared asked with a small laugh. Evan shrugged. 

“It’s close and it’s cheap? I uh, she works a shift on Tuesdays before our class together so she usually brings me a drink and after a while she just caught on that I  _ really  _ like their vanilla hot chocolates,” Evan explained with a small shrug. 

“That’s one thing that hasn’t changed since you left,” Jared said with a small laugh. 

“They’re  _ good _ , sue me.” 

Jared laughed and shook his head. 

Once the two of them had their drinks, they decided to duck out and head back to Evan’s dorm room. Jared’s justification was that he wanted to spend as much time as he could alone with Evan until he had to get back. Evan would have been fine staying- mostly because he wanted to try and talk to Christine a bit more with Jared around, but he got where Jared was coming from. They had a little more than an hour before Evan had to drop him off. 

“You’re coming home for winter break, right?” Jared asked as the two settled down on the couch. Evan crossed his legs as he tucked himself in the corner. 

“Yeah! And I was thinking probably for spring too… Since I mean I have the week off anyways. It’s better for me to come home I think, over like, you coming here? Just… I miss my mom,” Evan explained. Jared nodded. 

“I wasn’t going to say anything but I think that’s the better option. No offense, but it’s kinda boring around here,” Jared said with a small laugh. Evan dropped his gaze to his drink, before he shrugged. 

“We only kinda stayed in the dorms all weekend,” he pointed out. “There’s a lot of interesting things to do… if you were to actually leave. Maybe next time you come over here we can actually go around and do things? They’ve got an indoor go karting place with like… rollerblading and stuff. I haven’t been? But I mean… it seems pretty cool.” 

“Sure Acorn, if I end up coming down here again we can,” Jared said. Evan sighed quietly, before he moved to curl up next to Jared, letting his head fall against his shoulder. That was the thing, wasn’t it?  _ If  _ he came down again. Evan hoped he did, because he liked having Jared around here, and it would be nice to actually do more things with him. 

He enjoyed the weekend from start to finish without a doubt. It felt just like being home, since the two  _ never  _ did anything but just hang around home, but looking back now he wished the two had done anything  _ but  _ fall into their normal habits. 

Evan couldn’t linger on the thoughts though, because it was too late now. The minutes were slowly ticking down, and right away he would be driving Jared to the airport and he wouldn’t see him again until their next break. It realistically wasn’t that far away, but in the moment, it felt like it was going to be another  _ lifetime  _ before he got to see Jared again. 

All too soon, Evan was helping Jared gather his things around the dorm, before the two of them were sitting in Evan’s car. 

“I don’t want you to go,” Evan said. Jared gave a soft smile, before he reached over and gave his hand a small squeeze. 

“I know, but we really need to get driving,” Jared said. Evan hesitated before he nodded. He knew that, yet it took him another minute just sitting in the car before he actually put the key in the ignition and started driving towards the airport. 

“What time does your roommate get home?” Jared asked. Evan was sure it was just to break the silence between them, which was starting to get a bit thick and Evan didn’t know why. 

“I dunno. Sometime today…” Evan said with a small shrug. “We really don’t talk much outside of being in the dorm together.” And they flirted- though it had dropped significantly since Evan told Connor about Jared. Rightfully so. 

“Thought you were saying-”

“Well yeah but, that doesn’t mean that we’re like, close enough that I text him and ask him about these things,” Evan quickly interrupted, already knowing where Jared was going with the topic. “It’s like… It’s like Alana. I was pretty close with her in school but we haven’t said a word together since I moved out here.”

“You haven’t talked to Alana?” Jared asked. Evan glanced at him, before he shook his head. 

“She’s been asking about you,” Jared pointed out. “Should talk to her, Connor too. Legit anyone that you have their numbers for, talk to them. I guarantee you they want to talk to you too.” 

Evan knew that all too well, but that didn’t mean that he was going to do it. Instead of saying that though, he gave a small smile and a nod. 

“I’ll try.”

“As long as you try,” Jared replied with a small smile. Evan echoed it, before he focused back on driving. 

Once Evan dropped him off with a promise from Jared to text him when he landed, Evan found himself just sitting in the airport drop off zone, watching Jared as he wandered around, at first looking a bit lost until he disappeared from the sight of the windows. A large part of him just wanted to follow Jared and go home. It had been less than five minutes and Evan was already missing the feeling of being able to talk to Jared while he was sitting  _ right  _ beside him. 

He didn’t want it to happen, but he knew they were about to go back to the struggling long distance. Everything was fine when they were together. He just wanted them to be together. 

Eventually Evan ended up back home, sitting alone in his room with his laptop opened in front of him, despite the fact that it wasn’t turned on. 

He tried to think about anything  _ other  _ than feeling more homesick than ever, but it was a failing task. All Jared’s visit did was make him realize how much he’d rather be home with his family, studying at a much smaller university than studying alone at the university he had been dreaming of since he started looking at schools. 

He ended up being so lost in thought that he didn’t hear Connor get in, and he didn’t hear him until he was standing at the edge of Evan’s bed. He looked exhausted, with his hair tied up and an energy drink in his hand. Evan gave him a small smile as he shut his laptop. 

“Hey,” Connor said. Evan moved his laptop and tucked his legs in, giving Connor enough room to sit on the edge of his bed. 

“How was visiting your family?” Evan asked. Connor gave a short laugh as he turned to face Evan. 

“My grandparents were over for  _ god  _ knows what reason. Think I have a pretty girlfriend at University now,” Connor said with a small eye roll. “Made me wish I could just relapse and get high again,  _ just  _ so I wouldn’t have to listen as my parents went on about my fake girlfriend.”

“Oh.” 

“Yeah. It sucked.” Connor gave a short laugh. “How was the boyfriend?”

“Good?” Evan said. Connor raised an eyebrow. 

“You don’t sound too sure about it.”

‘Well- no.  _ Yeah _ it was a good time. We… didn’t do much besides just sit around? And uh, him being here just made me realize how much I want to drop out, pack up and just… go home,” Evan said with a small shrug. Connor hesitated, before he gave a small nod. 

“Do you plan to?”

“I don’t… know? I doubt it- I mean, I might finish this year and then transfer but… I mean I started, so I might as well finish off the whole four years?” Evan said, though he didn’t believe it when he said it. It would be a miracle for Evan to manage to make it through the rest of the year. Little lone the whole program. 

“You should stay,” Connor said. “I mean I probably pale in comparison, but you’re fun to hang out with.”

“You’re not just saying that cause like, you like… like me?” Evan asked. Connor shrugged casually. 

“I mean, I  _ do  _ like you… like a friend,” Connor said. “So of course I’ll say it. The whole… romantic pining things got nothing to do with this conversation.” They both laughed shortly, before Connor laughed a bit more. 

“That made it weird, didn’t it?” Connor asked. Evan shrugged. 

“Kinda… but it’s okay, I make everything weird.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no update, and I hit ya'll with a shitty filler ;) 
> 
> Sorry about the lack of updates. It took me significantly longer to finish the story I mentioned in the last authors note and then I was updating my other wip, and I just quickly forgot about updating this one, then I blinked and it had been a month. 
> 
> Anyways, this chapter has some shitty flow, which I apologize for, but the next chapter will hopefully increase in quality. And hopefully will be updated sooner. 
> 
> Anyways, see you around!


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